Undivided Attention
by coolspyro17
Summary: You know the guys from South Park, right? Two years later they're in the 6th grade. If you didn't know, South Park is pretty dangerous. Things are even more dangerous when the boys die one by one. I'll try to add a litte yaoi. T for Strong language.
1. Night at the Cemetery

**Hi there! This is my first fanfiction with over 2,000 words! This contains VERY TINY TINY TINY hints of yaoi! Sorry :P This was supposed to be a yaoi story, but I can't do that. Anyways, I hope you like it!**

It was a quiet morning in South Park. Nothing strange happened in the past few days, and nobody got hurt or died.

Nobody died, except Kenny.

The poor boy died _everyday_ and was brought back to life in the middle of the night. He suffered everyday. He was in pain and suffering, and none of his friends remembered he had died at all.

None of them.

Kenny was lying in his bed, writing down what had happened the day before.

"Died... at... 11:05 PM... Thursday... on... December 13, 2012..." Kenny sighed and continued writing on his notebook filled with memories and details of his deaths, along with some drawings he made. "At... the cemetery... while... lighting a campfire... when-"

Kenny's pencil lead broke. Again.

He rolled his eyes and got the small piece of pencil lead that had broken and held it between his fingernails. "I guess I have to write with this."

Kenny wrote the last few words down. "-I... tried... to... help Craig... with... his... sleeping bag." He shut the book.

He put it back under his pillow and thought about what happened yesterday.

**KENNY'S POV**

A few days ago, all of the boys went camping out in the cemetery as a dare to see who would chicken out first. Cartman started the dare, and invited me, Kyle, Stan, Butters, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Timmy, Jimmy, and Kevin (Cartman also wanted to invite Pip, but thought he would drag Damien along with him). Cartman asked Kevin where he thought the scariest place in South Park was.

He said The Barber Shop, and that's how he didn't get to go. Token said that he thought the cemetery was the scariest place. Everyone else agreed, and so they decided to go there.

I wanted to say Mr. Garrison's backyard, but they couldn't hear me.

The day they planned to do it was on Wednesday the 12, because after Friday there would be snow and all that crap falling out of the sky.

We couldn't do that since there was going to be construction on that day, so it was rescheduled to Thursday.

We all arrived at the cemetery at about 6:30 PM that night with all the stuff that we brought.

When we got to the front of the gate, however, Butters got frightened at the sight of the gate. He chickened out the first few minutes he was there. Everyone watched him run home and laughed their asses off.

Craig and Stan were recording him on their phones. They were laughing so hard that they couldn't focus the phone correctly, so they just recorded a blur and 3 minutes of the ground and the sky.

Cartman chuckled evilly and checked his name of the list that he was carrying.

Kyle and Timmy were watching in boredom, and Jimmy and Tweek didn't see what happened. I was sad that he was gone. He was my best friend.

After they were done laughing, we climbed over the gate with our stuff.

Unfortunatly, Timmy and Jimmy couldn't get over the gate (amazing how Cartman got over it though) so they had to go home.

I thought that was just horrible! They didn't chicken out, but they had to go home just because they couldn't get over the fucking gate!

Cartman checked both their names off the list and continued walking with the rest of us.

I pulled out my iPod that Butters had given me for my birthday (he was the only one who remembered my birthday) and turned it on. I noticed that everyone was either talking to someone else or calling their parents explaining that they would be home late. I knew that they were worried, but I wasn't.

I had some friends over at this cemetery that I knew pretty well.

When we got to our destination, Token suggested that we should set up a camp so we could feel more comfortable. Everyone agreed, so yes, we set up a small camp with all our sleeping bags set out and laid on the ground. I didn't bring mine, since I didn't have one. I brought my stupid orange hood though. I thought it was a nice blanket since it was warm.

We were there for a few hours. When the sun went down, Cartman planned to roam to cemetery.

Clyde and Token said that they didn't want to walk around the cemetery when it was dark.

I didn't want to either, but I didn't say it outloud. Cartman said that they were chickens, so he sent them home and checked their names off the list.

Me, Kyle, Stan, Craig, and Tweek were the only ones remaining along with Cartman. All the rest went home. They didn't bother taking their stuff home, so I guess we could use their bags and everything.

Stan was curled up by Tweek talking about how Justin Bieber sucks, and Cartman was looking over all of us, eating chips.

Craig and I were trading Playboy magazines.

Kyle was alone, shivering. He was constantly looking at his wristwatch mumbling what the time was. I overheard him and I heard him say 8:22 PM. God, we were here for almost 2 hours. We looked pretty fucked up right here.

I hope nobody could see us.

WRONG.

All of us heard Shelly, Stan's sister, yelling out his name by the front of the gate.

All of us panicked and ran to a ditch in the middle of the cemetery.

I guess they forgot to put the dirt back in, because I saw a dead corpse right in front of us. Come to think of it, it looked a lot like my girlfriend from 4th grade. She died from a monkey throwing a coconut at her head. Weird, huh?

I was in 6th grade now, so I guess she didn't really matter to me.

She probably wouldn't have remembered me if she was still alive anyways.

Stan was still running towards us.

Cartman refused to let him in the ditch with us, and told him to go back home with his bitchy sister.

Stan had no choice. Shelly would've found out sooner or later.

Kyle begged for Stan to stay, but Cartman just shoved Kyle out of the ditch and told him to go home too.

I wanted to stop Cartman from sending BOTH of them home, but I couldn't, or else I would have to go home too.

To pass the time away, I touched the dead corpse in the ditch, and I saw her glow. Her spirit appeared next to her.

It's a gift I had. I could bring people's dead spirits to me when I'm bored.

I didn't think that the other guys could see her, or that she could see the boys. I held her hand and closed my eyes. We had a short conversation.

"Hi, Kate." I started the converstion.

"Hi, Kenny. It's been a while." She replied.

"Did you get accepted?"

"Yeah. Isn't it great? It's wonderful up there in Heaven."

"I've never been there. I saw you get your wings though. You looked beautiful in them."

"Thanks, Kenny. You wouldn't look so bad if you had them too."

"I hate to break it to you, but I'm never going to get those wings for real."

"You mean... you're going down there?"

"No, I'm never going to die, unless I want to. And when I do, I can't go anywhere. I'll be in nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean, when I die, I'm going to be stuck in my dead body, and my spirit won't be released. I'll be dead in darkness, and that's that."

"Oh! That's terrible. I feel really really sorry for you."

"Yeah, well, I've been thinking about visiting Heaven, but I always seem to appear farther away from the gates of Heaven everytime I die."

"You're doing something wrong, Kenny."

"What am I doing wrong?"

"You're jacking off in front of your friends while talking to me, and that kind of stuff sends you farther away from where you want to go."

And she was right, I was.

"Oh CRAP! I'm so sorry! I'm so so so sorry!"

"No problem. I heard it's a natural habit of most human boys."

"Uh, yeah, it is. But, how can you see my friends?"

"Well, I can see you, can't I?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Can they see you though?"

"No. Only you can."

"Can they hear you?"

"Nope."

"Oh. That's a relief. I was wondering if they were going to freak out or something, but since they can't hear you, I guess I'll tell you about-"

"They can hear YOU though."

And... my brain went numb.

"Uh... Whaa?"

"They can hear you. Your friends can hear you."

"Shit. They must think I'm insane. I gotta go, Kate."

"Okay. I hope I'll see you later."

"Yeah. See you."

I winked at her and kissed her. Then I let go of her hand and she disappeared. My surroundings came back.

I wondered what the guys were thinking of me right now. I felt someone shaking me.

It was Craig, and he was the only one by me. The other boys were out of the ditch and were talking by the camp place.

I guess Kyle and Stan must be gone now.

"Kenny! Kenny, you okay dude?"

I wonder why Craig was the only one who stayed by my side while I was talking to Kate. "I'm fine, Craig."

"I saw her... I saw her, dude!" Craig whispered.

"Yeah, right." I laughed.

"No, it was her, Kate, my cousin!"

UH. KATE WAS CRAIG'S COUSIN?

"That was my girlfriend from 4th grade... You never told me that she was your cousin."

"You never told me you were dating her!" Craig said a little louder and pulled me close to him.

I laughed. "Man, I gotta write that part down too."

I grabbed my notebook and wrote down what happened. "I... talked to Kate... and she... was Craig's... cousin..."

I flipped a page. "And... Craig... got pissed off... and... I thought that he... was going... to kiss me..."

And I scribbled a drawing of me and Craig.

I closed my eyes again and went back to thinking about what was happening back at the cemetery.

"She didn't want me to tell anyone!" I tried backing away from him. Didn't work.

"Do you know how long I've waited for a chance like this?" Craig stared at me.

"Nice blue eyes..." I mumbled.

"What?" Craig gave me a confused face.

"Nothing! Nothing..." I was lying, obviously. I hope he didn't hear me...

"Well, do you know how long I've waiting for a chance like this?"

"No...?"

"A REALLY LONG TIME," And then Craig kissed me. "AND I NEVER GOT THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU!

So here I was, in a ditch with only me and Craig, and we kissed. I'm not gay... I'm not gay...

"I'm... happy... now..." I managed to speak with my brain half dead.

"Great. I am too." Craig replied and leapt out of the ditch in a flash.

What the fuck just happened?

Anyways, I went back to our crappy little cemetery camp place. I noticed Tweek was gone. "Where's Tweek?"

"Chickened out by hallucinating those underwear gnomes." Cartman explained. "He went home."

I looked up into the sky. It was a full moon. Interesting...

I looked at Craig. He was sitting in the middle holding a flashlight trying to get a fire going. I asked him if he needed help, and he said yes. I went over by him and pulled out a lighter.

"Nobody but me carries these things around anymore." I lit the pile of sticks in the middle of the ground and it caught flame.

Craig patted my back in thanks, and went over to his sleeping bag. It had Red Racer stickers all over it. I knew he loved Red Racer... even though I don't know what the hell Red Racer was.

He seemed to be struggling with it. He called me over to help him hold the other end of his sleeping bag since he couldn't find the opening.

I left the fire and went to help him. I held the other end like he said, and he finally found the zipper.

He said thanks to me again.

I let go of his sleeping bag.

All of a sudden I felt my wings extend from my back again. "Crap... I gotta go, Craig."

"What? Why?" Craig asked and walked over to me.

I backed away from him. "No, Craig, don't get any closer."

"Huh?"

As I backed away from him my wings got larger. "I'm going to di-HOLY CRAP!"

I tripped over a rock and fell backwards. "Craig! I'll be back tomorrow!"

I landed on my back on the bare ground. My wings bent foward and it hurt like hell. "Ow... Fuck!"

"Kenny... What are you trying to do?" Cartman laughed at me.

I looked over at Craig. "Craig... I'm still alive..."

Craig looked at me in panic. "Dude..."

And... I caught on fire. Turns out my wings had landed in the campfire by accident.

"I promise I'll be back, Craig..." And I burned to my death.

"I can't beleive all that happened yesterday." I sighed. "Well, I don't think Craig remembers my death at all."

I looked at my half-broken alarm clock. 7:20 AM.

"It's almost time for school." I got off my bed and walked over to my closet.

Not really much of a closet though.

I all I had in there is a few unmatched socks, my orange parka, and 2 pairs of ripped up jeans.

All my clothes had blood stains on them. I never tried washing them off... I like the blood stains.

I remember that Cartman, Kyle, and Stan came over to my house for a sleepover while I had chickenpox.

Stan left his other hat over here (the gothic one) and so I kept it. I sometimes wear it. Stan doesn't care whether I wear it or not. He doesn't like it.

I grabbed my parka and jeans and put them on.

I grabbed my bookbag and ran out my door.

When I got downstairs, I found my family sitting at the table setting frozen waffles on fire with candles since our toaster broke.

I grabbed a waffle and stuffed it in my mouth and put my boots on.

I ran out the door and waved bye to my parents.

I ran to the bus stop where my friends were. "Hey guys, what's up?"

I felt like this was a really awkward situation.

Wanna know why?

Well, here I was doing nothing but waiting for the bus to come, and here's Stan and Kyle celebrating about something and cheering. They were square dancing and shouting and laughing like they were high or something. Yeah, I figured they were high.

Then I saw Butters with his cute blue Hello Kitty jacket on and he was singing something. I got closer and heard what he was singing about.

"It's Friday... Friday... Gonna get down on Friday..." and he was bouncing up and down giggling.

God, this was embarrassing.

I pulled out a Playboy magazine I traded with Craig the yesterday and opened it. I read it quietly, ignoring the mess around me.

I didn't even get to the front page until Kyle and Stan came behind me and laughed their asses off.

"Hey, Kenny! Have you heard? Cartman is GONE!" And they started to laugh hysterically again.

"Cartman's gone?" I asked quietly, closing the magazine a little.

"Hell, yeah! His mom said that he was gone since yesterday and hasn't came back! He's lost! Don't you get it? No fat-ass to ruin our perfect Friday!" Stan and Kyle shoved each other playfully and stumbled around, laughing.

Crap... The cemetery thing... I hope Craig's okay though.

"Hooray... Cartman's gone..."

I stuck my head back into magazine and ignored them.

A few minutes passed in silence. Something wasn't right. Kyle and Stan weren't laughing anymore?

I turned my head around slowly, looking at Stan and Kyle.

They were standing together, aiming their phones right at me. They were filming me... WHY?

As soon as I looked at them they just broke down laughing.

"This is so gonna go on my Facebook!" Kyle laughed and fell over.

I sighed, and turned back around.

When was the bus gonna get here?

I looked at my wristwatch. 7:55 AM. Almost there.

I heard footsteps in the snow.

Someone was walking towards me. I turned and looked to my left.

"Butters..."

"Hi Kenny!" He said cheerfully and hugged me. "What 'ya reading?"

I heard Kyle say something about me and started laughing again.

"Oh, um, nothing." I closed the magazine and held it to my chest. Butters wasn't a person that could handle naked girls.

"Lemme see! Please?" Butters whistled and hugged me tighter.

"Off, Butters."

He didn't let go. "No, I wanna see what you were reading!"

I had to make up a lame excuse. "It's a scary story. You don't wanna see it."

Butters let me go and stood in front of me. "Oh, okay. Sorry Kenny!" He hopped away with his hair flailing. He had a rainbow clip in his hair. Yuck. You can't get girlier than that.

Stan and Kyle were coughing from all the laughing.

I heard the bus coming down the street. "Bus is here, guys."

The big school bus without the other half of itself was driving down the street at about 200 miles an hour, crashing into trees and rocks and losing some of its parts, along with some of the kids on the bus.

Finally, it stopped at the bus stop we were at.

The doors were gone, so there was no need to open the clamps on the doors, but the stupid bus driver did anyways.

"GET ON THE BUS, GODDAMMIT WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FER SCHOOL!"

I hopped on the bus first, then Butters followed me. Kyle and Stan had to lean each other to get on since they couldn't keep their balance. They were still laughing.

I looked around for a seat. I saw Craig flailing his arms in the air signaling me to sit next to him.

I saw that Tweek was sitting there, so I pointed to Tweek. Craig looked at Tweek and shoved him off.

"AGH! Craig, what d-did you do that for?" Tweek exclaimed.

Craig just flipped him off. I walked over to Craig.

The bus screeched and took off at the speed of light before I could even sit down.

I fell, and Butters fell on top of me.

I looked back at Kyle and Stan. They fell on top of each other too. God, that looked hot...-I mean gay. Yeah, really really gay.

I'm happy I didn't say that outloud.

I got up and sat next to Craig. I set my bookbag on my lap and rested my head on the back of the seat. "Hey, Craig."

Craig flipped his hair and looked at me. "Hi Kenny."

Ick, I hate Craig's nasally voice.

"So, how'd it go at the cemetery yesterday?"

"I won! Can ya believe it?" Craig said cheerfully.

Great... He doesn't remember my death.

"I wonder how Cartman chickened out. What happened to him?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't what the hell happened to him. We went around the cemetery, looking around and all of a sudden he vanished. I'm glad he's gone. We don't need him."

"Yeah, I'm glad too." I wasn't actually glad, cause if Butters knew, he would be really worried, and I hate seeing Butters sad like that.

Craig got a soda from his backpack and held one in front of my face. "Want one?"

"Sure. Thanks." I grabbed the soda from his hand and drank it.

"I heard that we're getting a substitute today, and that everyone's gonna piss her off at school. You wanna put spiders in her lunch today?"

"I've always wanted to do that, Craig. Let's put some in her coffee too." I laughed a bit.

"Heh. Yeah. I wonder what everyone else is gonna do." Craig drank the last of his soda and tossed it behind him. "I heard Wendy's putting thumbtacks on the teacher's seat. Wanna do that too?"

"Hellz yeah!" I laughed and high-fived Craig.

"I wonder if she's gonna be hot or not." I muttered to myself.

Craig must've heard me.

"DUDE! That is genius! You could set her on fire at the end of the day! Holy shit... THAT IS GENIUS! Omg, I dare you! I DARE YOU!" Craig shoved me playfully.

I shoved him back. "I'll do it, but you gotta help me."

"Sure! I'll do anything to see her being set on fire!"

I heard the bus stop in front of our school. "I'll tell you later."

All the kids emptied out of the bus and into the school.

I was one of the few that stayed over to the side of the school and peeked into our classroom window, looking for any signs of the teacher.

The window had been left open, but I was the only one that noticed.

Everyone else ran to the front doors before they were late.

I opened the window and climbed into the classroom.

"Yes! I'm in! I gotta tell Craig." I pulled out my phone.

I don't even know why my parents bought a phone.

'yo craig i got in2 th classr00m mt me ther now' I texted quickly to him and stayed close to the left side of the room.

I saw cameras in the corner of the room. Fuck... there's cameras.

I pulled my hood on and pulled Stan's goth hat out of my bookbag. I put it in there for a reason, you know.

I threw the hat towards the camera and ran towards Mr. Garrison's desk.

I hid underneath the desk and pulled the drawer open.

"There should be a mini-light or something in here-"

I pulled something out that was shaped like a flashlight.

I felt it and it was wet. I looked at it closer...

"HOLY FUCK IT'S A DILDO!"

I threw it as far away as I could and pulled the strings on my hood.

"That was scary..."

I looked at what was on my hand.

"Eww, it's slimy..."

I heard a loud CRASH and I heard glass breaking.

Crap, I must've thrown it at the window or the door.

I peeked out from under the desk.

I looked at the window. It wasn't broken.

I looked at the door. There was Mr. Mackey.

Yeah, I hit the door.

Ick, Mr. Mackey looks so scary. His head is like, HUGE and he talks funny. If I met his parents... Holy crap.

I tried being as still as possible. I held in my breath. I felt numb.

Mr. Mackey opened the door on flickered on the lights.

I saw that my shadow could be seen and there was space beneath the desk, so Mr. Mackey could see my feet and maybe my back.

"Fuck, I gotta hide somewhere else" I whispered to myself.

"Kenny, come out from under the desk, m'kay?"

SHIT.

I pretended I wasn't there and I didn't hear him.

"Kenny, I can see you, so come out from under the desk, m'kay?"

I am SO busted.

I crawled out from underneath the desk. "Hi."

Mr. Mackey was clutching Craig by the neck and holding referral papers.

"That's not very smart of you to do that Kenny, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey put the papers in his left hand down and reached into his pocket.

I wanted to run.

I wanted to run and take Craig with me to destroy the school.

I looked at him.

His eyes had sincerity in them, so I could tell he was sorry, and that this was his fault.

I nodded at him and then looked at the window.

He nodded too.

I stood up from behidn the desk and put my hands up. "Okay, you got me, Mr. Mackey."

"Don't think about running out that window, m'kay?"

"Oh sure I won't..." I winked at Craig. "I guess I can't RUN, now can I?"

At that very second me and Craig ran as fast as we could towards the window and jumped out.

"Oh come on, m'kay! I can't run after you, m'kay! You better come back here, m'kay?"

Me and Craig kept running. "M'kay!" We laughed and stopped at a corner of the school's building.

"This is where the goth kids hang out at recess. I used to hang out here when I was emo." Craig said, breathing heavily from all the running.

"You used to be emo?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I still am."

"You cut yourself and all that shit?"

"No, that's not what real emos do. Emos like being alone and like to listen to emo music..." Craig's voice trailed off.

"Whoa, that's how I am, but I don't consider myself emo." I actually thought about my style.

"Same as me." Craig leaned on the brick wall surrounding us.

Suddenly, I heard screaming and yelling.

"Did you hear that, Kenny?"

"Yeah. I wonder what it is."

A few seconds later I heard a loud beeping noise.

A few minutes later I saw kids running out from the school in all directions.

"Fire drill?" Craig asked.

"Probably another prank pulled by one of those 7th graders."

"Oh God, I hate those 7th graders so much. They almost killed my pet hamster, Stripe."

"Yikes. I feel for you, man."

I heard the yelling getting closer to us.

"There must be some kids headed our way."

I turned my head and looked around the corner.

My mind froze.

"Craig, come look over here."

"What is it?"

"Look" I pointed towards what I saw.

"Sweet Jesus..." Craig gasped.

We stayed close together and held each other's jacket sleeves.

"We are in really deep shit right now, Kenny."

"Yeah." I shivered in fear. "Some seriously fucked up shit."

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

**So, what did you think? :D I spent 3 hours on this, no help at all, no internet, and I worked on this solo. Nobody else but me and the few people who are reading this right now have seen this story. The next chapter will be written after this gets more than 2 reviews, so, please review!**


	2. ManBearPig!

**Hello! This is the second chapter of this Fanfic. I'm soooo sorry it took so long to upload. This chapter didn't turn out quite as well as I thought it would, but hey. It's my opinion. I think it's going to be fun for you to read. Now, the reason why there isn't that much mature content is because it's in Tweek's point of view, mostly. You know him...**

**It's also a little bit sad near the end. The next chapter will be even sadder. This chapter has a bunch of events happening, although I don't think I put enough details... Sorry.**

**Well, please enjoy! Oh and, please note that it's back at the cemetery scene again. We went back in time. Hehe...**

**Cartman's POV**

I glared at Kenny, Craig, and Tweek._ These dumbfucks... why won't they just admit they're losers? We've been out here freezing our asses off in the last 2 hours. I want to go home, goddammit._

I counted all the guys again, just to be sure.

_1...2...3..._

Tweek, Craig, and Kenny were still left with me. _I know they're all gonna lose, and I'm going to win. You know why? Because I'm going to cheat. Cheating ALWAYS works out for me._

I walked over to Tweek and tapped him shoulder, getting his attention. The spazzy little bastard.

"AGH! Oh, it's you, Cartman... You scared m-me..." Tweek pulled on the blanket that was wrapped around him tightly, making sure I wouldn't harm him. "What do you w-want?"

I grinned._ This guy never learns, does he?_ "Well, I need you to do something for me." I turned and pointed towards the direction where I think the cemetery gate entrance was.

"I want you to walk straight, all the way over there until you see a gate. When you do, stay there until I call you."

_Please let him fall for it... Please let him fall for it..._

Tweek's twitchy eyes took a glance over to the left, then to the right. "Oh... Okay."

_It's in the middle. The gate entrance is in the direction right in front of you!_

I pointed in front of us.

"Oh... There it is." He sighed and streched. "Sure...I'll do it."

**YES.** _He fell for it._

Tweek ruffled his hair, then stood up. "I hope you know w-what you're doing, Cartman." I saw him walk over to his backpack with all his stuff inside of it. He grabbed something out of the bag... I guess it was a knife or something. "This is Kenny's. C-can you give it back to him for me?" He handed me the knife. I nearly jumped back in fear.

_Damn. He looked scary. I knew he wasn't going to stab me or anything, but still. He's damn scary with a knife in his hand. I grabbed it from him carefully. If Tweek ever got ahold of knives or scissors while he gets drunk with coffee... Oh no._

"Go. Don't tell any of the other guys." I pointed over to Kenny and Craig. They were still in the ditch. I guess they were doing something over there. "If you tell anyone about this, I swear I will kill you."

Ah, not the best offensive thing I've ever said. Probably because I was so tired.

"Oh. Okay. I promise n-not to." I watched Tweek as he waved goodbye, then picked up his stuff and walked silently into the darkness. As soon as he was far enough that he was out of my sight, I chuckled. He'll get lost before you know it._ I don't know if I'll see him ever again, but I hope not. He wasn't worth remembering anyways. Nobody is..._

I glanced over at Craig and Kenny, still in the ditch. _What the hell were they doing over there?_

Oh well. Not any of my buisness, right? If they're dying back there, I don't care. I never care.

I sat down by the warm, bright fire. It's so fucking cold out here in the middle of the cemetery. It's like being in Antarctica. **Cold**. So, very, **damn cold.**

I plucked a few weeds from the ground and fed them to the fire. The flame roared and crackled as I threw the dirt-covered pieces of grass into it. I flexed my fingers out at it, flicking the dirt off my nails.

I saw something shiny fling from my hand. It was one of my finger rings...

It landed with a small **THUD** near the fire._ Should I pick it up? I could burn myself... But it was my favorite ring. I can't leave it there like that_.

I extended my arm out to the fire, reaching for my small grey ring, laying on the ground on top of a small moud of dirt. Sparks flew from the fire, landing around it. Almost there...

I touched it, and it felt as hot as _hell_. "SHIT!" I yelled out.

_Yikes. I shouldn't have done that._

As if on cue, I saw Craig peek out from the ditch.

Craig jumped out from the ditch with a crooked smile on his face. As soon as we made eye contact, his smile faded away almost instantly. _What the hell was his problem?_

He was headed towards me. Crap. I sat back up, and stared at my ring. Too late to get it now.

If I didn't think if something quick, Craig would see it.

It was originally his... I stole it from him. He never found out. He never complained about it, either, but if he knew I had it, I'd be seriously screwed. Craig has a bad temper. You should of seen him when I told him that Tweek said something about his hamster, Stripe. He was mad.

I kicked the dirt around the ring with my foot until I hit it, and it flew into the fire. Straight into the fire.

It was gone forever now. _Damn it._

Craig was about a few yards away from me. I hope he didn't see what I was doing.

"Hey... Where's Tweek?" Craig asked.

"Oh. He went home. Chickened out by hallucinating those underwear gnomes again." I laughed nervously. It was obvious that I was lying, but I hoped Craig didn't notice.

"Hmm. Well, if you say so." Craig stopped, and pulled out his phone. He flashed one of those mischievious grins of his at me. "If he's home already, it wouldn't hurt if I called him, right?"

_Craig... You son of a whore_. "No! Don't! I heard it's... uh..."

_Great. It's lame excuse time._

"...I heard it's very bad luck to communicate using long distance devices in a quiet cemetery like this. I don't think you should use it." Awkward silence followed.

_Oh, bravo, Cartman. You made yourself sound like a dumbass in front of Craig._

"Whatever." Craig put his phone back in his pocket. He sat down on the ground with his legs crossed. I watched him carefully. You could never predict what he was going to do next.

I noticed something weird. His blue eyes looked... red. It's probably from the color of the fire's light. I hope it was.

Kenny came out from the ditch, finally. He walked over to us. "Hey Kenny!" I called out. "If you're gonna take a dump, don't take so long next time!" I laughed.

"Shut up, fatass." Craig snarled at me. "Don't make insults about Kenny. You know he's not afraid to fight you."

I slowly pushed him away from my face. _What the hell was wrong with him?_ "Dude. I don't wanna fight Kenny. He's too weak."

Kenny finally got to where we were. "Well..." Kenny started. "Looks like it's time to get some sleep, eh?"

I looked at Craig, then Kenny. I nodded my head. "Yeah, probably. It's getting pretty late now. I'm tired."

I set up my own sleeping bag myself, while Craig need help from Kenny.

They were whispering to each other and looking at me constantly. _They were talking about me! Why?_

I noticed that they were_ awfully close _to each other... _Hehe._

"Hey, gaybirds!" I started. "Why don't you guys-"

Craig shot up from the ground and knocked me over, really hard. He made fists with his hands and brought them up to my face. **"Don't. Fucking. START!"**

I heard Kenny trying to convince Craig not to hit me. "Don't hit him, Craig!" He tried to run over to us, but then he tripped.

_He slipped and fell on his back. I saw some shiny, feathery-looking shit emerge from behind. Wings? Naw. I was hallicunating again. I should've have had all those Red Bulls earlier..._

Craig turned around, and left me on the ground. His claw-like nails made dents in my skin, and he ripped part of my jacket. _That son of a whore!_

"Kenny! Are you alright?" Craig exclaimed and kneeled by his side.

"I'm... alive?" Kenny was breathing really heavily. Really, really heavily.

"Dude. You're gonna be alright. Hang on." I could hear the panic in his voice. He wasn't gonna hold much longer, I could tell.

Kenny didn't look so good. I backed away. I didn't want to get involved.

Just then, before I knew it, Kenny caught on fire. Yes, he caught on fire.

Craig was frozen in fear. I sort of felt numb myself. I had the nerve to say something in the awkward background of Kenny screaming in pain.

"Is... Is he okay?" I managed to ask.

Craig looked over at me as if I just said all the cuss words imaginable in front of his face. His eyes were dark and wide, and his lips were quivering. "Are... Are you fucking _KIDDING_ me?"

It was suddenly silent. Even the deafening screams of Kenny were muted.

"No..?" I felt that was the most appropriate thing to say, yet the worst.

Craig stared at me, shooting daggers from his eyes. He finally stood up and walked over to the ice box that Token had brought, but left it behind. Craig opened the lid, his body looking limp and his eyes dark and emotionless. If he kept that look up, I would have mistaken him as a zombie.

Craig threw the lid over to the side, almost hitting me. He grabbed a bottle of Kool-Aid and unscrewed the lid, and walked over to Kenny.

_What was he doing now?_ "Uh... You're not gonna pour that on him, are you?"

Craig turned his head slowly towards me and nodded. Then he emptied all the contents of the Kool-Aid in the bottle out all over Kenny.

When he was done, Kenny was still. He wasn't moving-motionless, actually. Was he... dead? "Craig. He's dead. You were too late, ya bastard."

Craig stepped back away from me and Kenny. "Hey, nothing to be afraid of, you chicken. Come back. I know you're going to-"

He let out a deafening screech and threw his fists at me. "_YOU'RE_ THE BASTARD!" He screamed out, like one of those screamers in those hardcore bands. He missed me, barely.

"Why so mad?" I said calmly. If you met me and Craig for the first time ever, you'd already know we were enemies.

He lunged at me and bared his teeth._ I guess he was planning to bite me? What was he, a vampire? I knew he hated vampires though... Everyone hates vampires. They suck._

_Hehe... get it? Ah, nevermind. Lame joke, I know._

I rolled over to my right, and Craig fell in the dirt. He tumbled and layed on the ground near my feet.

"Are you trying to kill me, fucker?" I sneered at Craig, waiting for a reply._ He wouldn't beat me up. I know that for a fact._

He looked up at me, and I noticed that there was a small scratch on his face, and it was bleeding. I didn't even hurt him, and now he's bleeding!

"Yeah. Wanna play?" He was breathing heavily and I saw drool drip from the corner of his mouth.

_This dude is freaking insane! He looks like he's rabid... or he's a mutant hobo._

Before I got to answer his question, he lunged at me again with his fingers outstretched. _Yeah, he's gonna scratch me now. Woo hoo._

I tried dodging to the left, but Craig changed direction while in the air and landed on me. He pinned me down and started squeezing my skin that was grasped between his fingers. His claws dug into my skin like knives. I wanted to scream, but I kept silent instead. I spoke.

"I'm not in the mood to fight, Craig. Give it up." I stared at him straight in the eyes for about 5 seconds before he made another move. "There's no reason to fight."

He let go of me and sighed. He shut his eyes then stood up. It looked like he was wearing eye liner from my angle. _I bet he is wearing eyeliner._ _Stupid gay kid..._

"Fine. I give." He backed away and walked away from me. He stood about a few yards away from me, feeling embarrassed and mad. He was covered in dirt and sweat and was breathing heavily.

_He gives up so easily. So very easily._ "Ha. Chicken." I muttered under my breath.

I guess Craig must've heard me again. "What... _What_ did you say?"

I shrugged. "I said, you're a chicken. You gave up."

Craig has serious problems. I need to tell you that. He flips off whoever talks to him, and he doesn't care if he's in trouble or not. He's a softie, because he loves his pet hamster, Stripe. I think he loves it a little TOO much... (I bet he fingers his hamster every night), yet he's meaner than all those 7th graders COMBINED. He's sort of a retard, but he's one of the smartest people in our 6th grade class. He's weird too.

"I'm not the chicken. You are." I heard his voice crack a little bit.

"No no no no no no. You're the one who gave up the fight."

"You were the one who didn't move! You didn't fight me back, so that means you were scared, right?" Craig yelled at me and spat in my face a little bit. _Ick._

"Whatever. Let's forget about it." _I didn't like Craig. At all. I wanted to kill him, actually._

_Yes, I want to kill all the horrible people I know. Every single one. Starting with..._

_Kyle. The damn jew-fag._

"Well, I'm not gonna forget about it. How 'bout we challenge each other to something- see who's chicken." He stopped with the angry face, and gave a crooked smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure. Want you wanna do?"

He looked around us, observing the surroundings. "I know. How about we split up and explore the cemetery, then we come back at exactly 10:00 PM? We dig up some random guy in the ground, then bring back one of his bones. If you were scared, you wouldn't actually do it, now would you?" He was starting to freak me out with that crooked grin of his. "_Sound good_?"

_What the hell was he thinking? Dig up some random guy, and take one of his bones? I told you, he's insane!_

I planned to trick him again. "Challenge accepted. You're going down."

We both stood up and stared at each other. The awkward silence sounded deadly. Kenny was sure to be dead now.

I looked at my wristwatch. 8:45 PM. _Yeah, I got about an hour and a half. I'll be fine._

We grabbed our stuff, and started walking away.

"Good luck, fatass." Craig flipped me off, then walked away.

"You too, fucker." I muttered back at him.

I walked off about 30 yards away from the camp, then stopped. I sat down, and brought out my flashlight. "I'm staying right here." I pulled out my Ninetndo DS Game and turned it on.

"Super Mario time."

It kept me company for the next hour and a half...

When it was out of battery, I glanced at my watch. 9:55. I should probably start heading back now.

I stood up, blinking a few times so my eyes could adjust. I was staring at the game screen for too long... I couldn't see very well. I saw a bright, sharp blur in front of my face, that's what I saw.

Aftersight. I hate it.

I chose a random direction, then set off.

To me, choosing a random direction in a situation like this would be sort of a bad idea, yet a good idea at the same time.

_Life is so confusing..._

I kept walking... on and on. Not knowing where the hell I was going. Where was I going?

I should be near the camp now. Let's hope I was.

I walked farther... then I felt my foot hit something.

Sharp, loud hissing filled the air.

Just then, I felt my foot go numb. Sharp, stinging pain flooded in left leg, and I froze.

I looked down at my feet.

_Snake. Snake... **SNAKE!**_

I covered my mouth with my hands to make sure I didn't scream.

I shouldn't make any noise..._ No noise, Cartman. No noise._

_Make a peep, and you're dead._

Standing still, I glanced at my wristwatch.

10:01PM...

_Shit! I'm late!_

I looked down at the snake again. **_Get... Off... My... Damn... Foot!_**

It's fangs still sunk deep into my foot. The only way to get it off was to wait for it to move on, or kick it off. I didn't want to kick it off, hence the risk of getting the damn snake to pierce all the way through my foot.

I waited long, long seconds...

Just then, I heard more hissing. More snakes, maybe? Oh... this wasn't good.

What was I supposed to do?

_I'll run. Yes, the fatass is gonna run. No stopping_.

I kicked my left foot hard, and the snake went flying in the air. I ran.

I ran until I got so tired I wanted to just fall over.

10:10PM._ No... I'm late!_

But then... That makes me the loser- the chicken!

I'm the chicken.

"I'm..." My voice shook. "I'm the chicken."

My eyelids felt heavy. "I'm the loser. I'm the chicken..."

I felt weak.

_Cartman... Don't fall over. If you fall over you're gonna-_

**AND... I FELL OVER.**

I couldn't stand up on my feet anymore. _Snake... Venom._

All I wanted to do was to just lie down and sleep. Wake up tomorrow, then be back at school. Is it that hard?

Maybe that would work if I tried. I can't walk now. Damn snake bit me, and now it feels like the whole world just landed on my left foot.

_Lovely._

I shut my eyes, and I wanted to drift off into a deep sleep, but would I wake up after it?

I don't care. As long as the stinging pain goes away. _Dear God, let it go away._

Sleeping in the middle of nowhere was a really bad idea, wasn't it?

Well, yeah, but I fell asleep anyways. I should've gotten my sleeping bag from my backpack since it was fucking cold, but I didn't.

I can't make myself wake up now.

_Damn it._

**CHANGE OF POV : CRAIG**

I walked down the dusty path... Well, there wasnt't a path, just bare ground. You get the point, _right?_

I walked away from the camp until the flame of the fire burning there wasn't visible anymore. I thought that was far enough.

The challenge- the one where I had to go somewhere and dig up a dead guy. I regret saying that. I would never do such a thing.

I'm not that kind of person. Who knows, maybe there's going to be zombies if I try digging them up. I know they're not real, but I didn't want to take a chance. Besides, I didn't even have a shovel.

My knees grew weak. It'd be a good time to stop right here for now. I gently fell on my knees and sat down, my arms crossed on my chest. It was cold, and my jacket REALLY wasn't helping me. It was wet for some reason... I can't imagine why.

Probably from that Kool-Aid I poured on Kenny earlier.

_Poor Kenny. He didn't deserve to die..._ He was one of my best friends; aside from Tweek.

I glanced at my wristwatch. 9:30 PM. I had about 30 minutes until I had to go back to the campsite and face Cartman again... Maybe he actually did dig up some guy from the dirt ground. I don't want to see him carrying around a dead dude's bones, and having him win a challenge over it. I'd rather lose.

_Ha, screw that. I'm gonna go home._

I don't care if I lose or not, I know that Cartman WILL get in trouble in some way. I just know it.

I sighed and looked behind me. There was no use going back. I forgot where the camp was, and I don't care where it is. I know one thing for sure- I'm NOT going back.

I stood up and dusted the dirt from my jeans. I think I know how to get home... The gates that surrounded this crappy cemetery were mostly broken, so I think I can find a way out.

I grabbed my backpack and pulled out a lighter. No, I'm not getting high, I forgot my damn flashlight back there at the camp. I'm too lazy to fetch it. Besides, I'd use a lighter over a flashlight anyday. Clyde said once that I looked badass with a lighter in my hand. Ha. He got caught on fire when he wanted to hold my lighter himself. He's such a retard...

I looked around me. Dark, except for the faint glow of the small flame emitted from my lighter. I choose a random direction; again, and started walking. The perimeter of the cemetery was very small, actually. So many people died in South Park every year, yet our cemetery is so small. I guess they're all cremated or something like that. Oh well, forget that for now. I'm going to focus on getting home. It wouldn't take long before I reached a part of the broken gate.

Trudging through weeds and shattered glass, I finally saw the faint glow of a rusty gate post. I made it!

"That wasn't so hard." I sighed to myself and smiled. "I'm going home."

I walked up to the gate and extended my arm. I gave it a gentle push on one of the bars.

It creaked quietly and slowly leaned backwards.

**CRASH!**

It fell over. The whole damn gate. It was loud, too.

Boy, do I feel sorry for the dude who put this shitty gate here. Such a waste of money...

I stepped forward and observed my surroundings. I heard a really faint noise... Like someone yelling. I guess it was Cartman?

10:01 PM. Well, I officially lost the challenge. I bet that yelling was Cartman, cheering. He's such a jerk.

Well, I'm leaving him behind. Let's see if that fatass can figure out where I am now.

I pulled my backpack off from my back and swung it in front of me. There was a rope on the outside of my backpack that held my skateboard. Where was it... Aha!

I pushed it, and a quiet click noise came from it. I unlatched the strap to my skateboard holder.

Yes, I have a skateboard strap on my backpack.

I attached it on there when I was in 4th grade. _The guys and me were in this class back in 4th grade with this insane teacher... I think his name was Mr. Adler or something. One day, he tried killing himself. I made this little mini-rope that had a latch on it and it was left on the sawing machine. It was unfinished, because I had trouble trying to finish it. I left it on there for some reason. Never took it home yet. Our teacher tried committing suicide laying on the belt moving towards the saw, and while he was laying on there the rope got caught on his shirt. He stopped, and didn't get to kill himself successfully. I guess you could say I saved his life. When the latch was caught on him, the latch on it got fixed, and it worked. I attached it to my backpack at first to carry around my pet hamster, Stripe's cage. Didn't turn out too well. Then, when I got into 6th grade I had gotten a skateboard from my parents on Christmas. I attached it on my backpack whenever I went out. It's awesome to be walking around with a kick-ass skateboard on your back._

I slung my backpack back on and hopped on my skateboard, my right foot pushing me swifty on the rocky ground.

I got far enough to recognize where I was. I stopped for a minute and looked around. I was near Stark's Pond...

I never went swimming there anymore, because _back in 4th grade Stan and I were sitting on the edge of the dock, observing the animals there since we're animal lovers (we get teased because of this alot), and he shoved me in the fucking cold water, and ran away laughing, taking thousands of pictures of me struggling to swim in the water. There were mutant fish in there and I didn't realize it until they started biting my leg._ NEVER go into that pond's water. Ever.

There always something fucked up about EVERYTHING here in South Park. I love it so.

I turned to the left. I was near home. Just a few more blocks away.

My wristwatch read 10:10 PM. Yay... My parents will be THRILLED to find me looking beat up and tired. I fell several times on the way here. Such bumpy ground...

I finally reached the street where I lived. I saw a stray cat walking around. It glared at me from behind a garbage can. I absolutely HATE cats. _Hate them... Hate them.._

I felt a surge of hate run through me. Ugh... I don't like that feeling.

I stopped at the sidewalk and picked up a good-sized rock, and aimed at the cat.

I guess it knew what I was trying to do. It saw was I was doing, hissed, then ran towards me.

I panicked and dropped the damn rock. It landed on my foot. "AHH, FUCK!" I screamed out and cringed. _Not the best thing to scream out in the middle of the night, eh?_

The cat still was running towards me. It was about 10 yards away. I gotta move before it bites me or something.

I stuggled to stand, but I managed and starting running. Screw the skateboard. I can't skate with a sore foot.

The cat ran so silently, I almost forgot what I was running from. The damn bastard.

I ran in the opposite direction to where my house was. I was getting farther and farther away, until I reached a gate.

Not just any gate, but the cemetery gate.

This part wasn't broken down, however, so this was a different direction than where I came from a few minutes ago.

I leapt into a nearby bush and ducked.

I crouched down and held my breath. I hope the cat had gotten lost. It chased me FAR.

I turned my head and looked behind me, and I saw the big fuzzy ball of shit. It was wondering around and sniffing the air.

It looked in my direction, but I don't think it saw me. It finally gave up the search for me and silently ran away.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

I looked around again, just to make sure it wasn't around anymore.

Then, I saw something far in the distance. I gasped.

There he was. There was Cartman.

He was lying on the ground and was clenching his foot. I wonder why...

No. I knew why.

He was hurt. And if he was hurt, that means he couldn't have made it back to the camp spot.

It all came back now! Earlier he wasn't yelling in cheer, he was yelling in pain!

I let out a quiet, mad laugh.

"I won."

I pulled out my phone to take a picture of him. I flipped open the screen and zoomed WAAAY into him, then pressed the button.

**Flash!**

This was gonna be funny. I'm gonna show everyone at school... Hehe.

I actually felt happy to see someone hurt. I know it's a mean thing to do, but you don't know how I felt right now.

I'm the winner. He's the loser.

I crawled out from the bushes, feeling proud of myself.

I ran back onto the street to retrieve my skateboard.

**HONK!**

"Watch where you're going, kid!" It was Officer Barbrady.

That retarded policeman. If anyone in South Park tried calling for help he'd kill us, rather than giving us help.

I didn't see his car, but I knew he was close by and that he'd come after me.

I saw my skateboard on the side of the street and grabbed it. Then I ran.

I ran down the street, with a retarded cop on my tail. The siren wailed a little bit too loud, and it disturbed some of our neighbors.

Lights in scattered houses flickered on. I saw some of my friends that I knew waving at me and cheering me. I notcied some of their parents and siblings leaning outside their window, watching me in amazment as I ran down the street.

I don't know how fast I was running, but I was knew outrunning the police car.

I didn't think I passed my house yet. I covered a lot of ground, yet I don't think I'm even NEAR my house.

Wait... maybe I passed it?

I looked behind me. The police siren was faint now. I was really far away from it. HA! I can't believe I outran his car that much. It's gonna be a story to tell.

I turned back around and-

**SMACK!**

_Shit. I ran into a tree._

I sank and fell to my knees, then collapsed comepletely.

I was knocked out. I felt my phone in my pocket ring...

"Craig?"

**CHANGE OF POV: TWEEK**

Well, what am I supposed to do now? Cartman told me to wait here until he called me.

He hasn't called me yet.

Did he mean to call me like, with a phone, or yell out my name?

I'm scared! It's dark, and I didn't bring any flashlights or glow sticks or lightbulbs or anything!

All I brought was my backpack, and it doesn't have anything in it that can help me right now! Well, there's my phone. Maybe I can call him!

Yeah! I'll call him! I'm so smart.

My hands shook as I reached into my pocket to grab my phone.

I pulled something out. Paper wad. No...

I pulled something out agian. Candy wrappers. Argh, no.

Ah! There it is.

I flipped it open and speed dialed his contact number. It's hard for me to dial numbers without using my contact list. I have a great memory and everything, but my fingers... They never hit the right buttons.

I heard the tone. **Beep... Beep... Beep... Bee-**

"Agh... Shit, my foot hurts..." I heard Cartman's voice on the other end. He sounded like he was in pain, but sleepy at the same time.

"Um... C-Cartman? Is that y-you?" I stammered.

"Oh! Tweek! The fuck have you been?" Cartman yelled at me.

I whined. "I... I've been standing by the gate, just like you asked. You haven't called me, so-"

"You're not supposed to wait at the fucking gate! I told you to go home, then come back when I call you!"

Ah... He never said that. "Oh... Sorry. I'll b-be going now. By-"

"Wait-Wait! Don't hang up! Dude I'm, I'm in some serious shit right now. You need to come and help me! I got bitten by a snake and now I'm lost! Come find me, you bastard!" Cartman paused for a minute to take a deep breath. "You left me here to suffer! I know you did, you little fucker!"

"S-sorry..." I twitched as I spoke. "I'm... sorry... I'll come find you. I promise."

"YOU BETTER!"

Then the line went dead.

He never told me where he was. How am I supposed to find him?

Oh, I'm lost. He's lost. _Where's Craig when I need him most?_ Maybe I should call him.

I speed dialed his number, like I did with Cartman.

The tone went on longer than usual. Craig usually answered immediately whenever I called him.

Then, the tone stopped. I listened for something. I heard heavy breathing.

I opened my mouth, and words didn't come out. The heavy breathing on the other line was getting creepy.

Then, I finally managed to say something. "Craig...?"

"Help... Me..." He said that really quietly, and then I heard his phone drop.

The line went dead.

"Agh! All my friends need help now!" I shook my head in agony. My arms were trembling. My cold, shivering hands clenched my face. My mind was spinning. I just wanted to go home, like Cartman told me to.

I sat down and took deep breaths. "Calm down Tweek... It's going to be okay... It's going to be okay..." I said to myself quietly. "I should help Craig first. He's a better friend than Cartman. Maybe Craig knows where Cartman is. He's smart."

I stood up and jumped over the gate. I struggled near the top; those sharp spikes near the top. Why are they even there?

Outside the cemetery, I held onto my backpack and ran.

I could run really far, really fast. You'd never believe me until you'd see me.

I ran until I saw the faint lights of houses nearby.

I looked around. I was on the street where I lived.

Maybe I could just leave this all behind and go home. Sweet, safe home. That's all I've wanted to do.

Well, Cartman DID tell me to go home and wait until he called me, but he never said I could take a detour and help Craig. No, he never said that.

I moved on to the next block or so until I got to the street where Stan was.

Wait! Wrong direction!

_Turn back... Turn back.._

I turned back around and starting running in the other direction. I passed my street again, then moved onto the street where Kenny lived. Craig was about half a mile away. He lived on the other side of town. I kept running until I reached the end of my neighborhood. I crossed town and kept running until I stopped at the entrance to Craig's neighborhood. It had a distinct scent, like the smell of smoke and roses. This was where the dangerous part of his neighborhood was, but I got used to it. I visisted Craig's house almost every week. We played video games all day on Saturday. I beat him this one time at Mario Kart...

I slowed down to a walk, since I had run REALLY far. I covered a lot of ground. I was one of the fastest runners in school, but I didn't like showing off so nobody ever knew. The pretty girls at school always crowded Craig, since he was the fastest runner of the school. They also crowded Kyle too. I don't see why they like him so much. They always pinch his butt and everything... Gross.

I walked the rest of the way. I decided to visit Craig's house first. Maybe his parents would have a clue where Craig was. I walked down the sidewalk. I saw Officer Barbrady on the right side of the road, his car parked by a fire hydrant. He was talking on his microphone in his patrol car.

"Yeah, he was running away from me. No, I didn't catch him. Yes, he ran away. What? No, I'm not a pedophile! I just wanted to follow him! Well, fuck you too! Sorry, it's been a hard day for me... Hey, no. Don't talk to me like that!" Officer Barbrady was talking to someone on the other end. I ran to a nearby alley and listened to him talk. "What, the kid? Yeah, I know him. He's a 6th grader. Fastest runner I ever saw." He paused and took a sip from his coffee. "Yeah, tall amd he had a blue hat. Scrawny little kid too... So thin. I don't know where he is. He ran off. Last time I saw him was when he ran all the way down at the end of the street. I crashed my car...-" Officer Barbrady closed his door. I couldn't hear him talk.

I knew he was taling about Craig. He was nearby, I knew that. I heard Barbrady say that he was last seen by the end of the street. Maybe I should look there.

I crept silenty out from the alley. I don't think Officer Barbrady saw me. I ran down the street, my hair flailing in the wind. It was really cold. I hate running in the cold.

I passed Craig's house. I didn't have to stop by there anymore. I sort of knew where Craig was.

I kept going on for about 2 more minutes, then I saw him. I gasped. "Craig!"

I ran over to him. He was lying on the ground, unconscious. I saw his phone lying by his side. The screen was cracked and broken. I looked around for who or what could've done this to Craig. I saw blood dripping from his nose, and his face was scratched. There was a also a bad bruise on his elbow, and deep scratches on his knees. His ripped jeans had traces of blood on them. I guess Craig must've fallen on his knees before he was knocked out. His face was hit badly too. I don't think it was a murderer who was after him. Nothing was stolen from him, I know that much.

Then I saw it.

A huge, fat oak tree stood in front of me and Craig. there was blood dripping from the trunk, and the right side of the tree had been hit by something.

Craig had crashed into the tree.

I finally spoke. "Craig... Craig, are you alright?" I put my hand on his neck, checking for a pulse. It was weak, but he was alive. I guess he was knocked out or something. There was no answer from him.

I shook him gently, trying to get an answer from him. I let go of him. I could help Craig, I could! But... I don't know what to do.

I can't do anything when I don't know what to do. It's how I work.

"Craig, I can help you... I can. Just tell me what to do, I'll help you." I paused to take a deep breath, trying to hold in tears. "Tell me what to do, because I don't know... I don't know anything... I can't-"

Suddenly I felt his hot breath on my hand. "Take... me home... please..."

EHH?

Okay... then. My best friend wants me to take him home. How? Was he joking? No, he wasn't.

Ah... then if he wants me to bring him home, I gotta carry him. His house was only a block away. It couldn't be hard, right?

I bet I can carry him. I bet I can.

I knelt down by his side and gripped his arms, then tried lifting him. "My God, Craig... you're heavy!"

I let go of his arms, and tried figuring out another way to lift him without breaking my back.

I could lift him by bringing up his chest first... That would work.

I sat down by Craig again, and wrapped my arms around his chest, then lifted him. He coughed as I brought him up off the ground, a trail of blood being left behind.

I hung his arm around my shoulder, and lifted his legs. I was carrying him as if he was a wedding bride. "Hey... You're not so heavy after all." I sighed and held him for a few seconds, getting used to the feeling. I don't carry heavy things like this very much. Too much pressure, but this time I wasn't feeling pressure. No, I felt MAJOR PRESSURE. I mean, literally PRESSURE. I think Craig must've weighed aroound 85 pounds or something. He was half to crushing my weak arms, but I managed to hold him.

I felt him bury his head in my jacket. He had both his arms around my neck and was breathing in an unsteady pattern. I was getting worried.

It was easy to carry Craig like this, although it looked awkward.

_Really awkward._

I slung his backpack on my shoulder and held him close to me so I wouldn't drop him, then started walking.

The dark shadows of us walking shone on the street, making long and tall shadows. The light mostly came from the moon. I never saw the moon full before. It was epic.

I kept walking until I saw Officer Barbrady again. He was still there!

I panicked. how was I supposed to pass him without being seen?

I decided to stop for just a minute. Walking to a corner, I bent over, trying to put Craig down. "You're gonna be here for just a second..." I whispered to him. I don't think he heard me, you know why?

Well, after I said that he brought me down to the ground, along with him.

"Agh! Craig!" I exclaimed as I accidently fell on top of him.

I blushed. _Embarassing..._

He moaned in pain as my backpack fell on his knee. I got up quickly and stepped back, holding my backpack and pulling it off him.

Craig was laying on the ground, again. He was still breathing heavily and unsteadily. I think it was getting worse.

I took off my jacket and covered Craig with it, so he wouldn't be cold. I ran swiftly and quietly over to Officer Barbrady's car. I was close enough to look inside. He was there alright, but he was sleeping.

Sleeping on the job. I wonder why this guy isn't fired yet.

I got closer to his car to make sure he was sleeping.

Yeah, sleeping. I heard him snoring from the inside.

I ran back over the Craig and slung both our backpacks onto my back again, and lifted Craig up. He was still wrapped in my jacket. His breathing started to go quiet now. He wasn't breathing heavily anymore. I was relieved.

I carried him tightly and ran as quietly as I could past Officer Barbrady's car. Quietly meant sounding like Cartman trying to run. My boots scuffed on the hard concrete and our backpacks made a shaking noise when I ran.

5 long minutes passed before I finally got to Craig's house. The house was dark; no lights. Everyone was sleeping, I guess.

I got to the doorstep and stopped. I tried opening the door, and it was locked.

I need the key. I need to get the key from Craig.

I remembered that he always wore a lanyard around his neck with keys and skull keychains. He got all his stuff from Hot Topic. _I hate that place. I heard it got burned down by those... emo kids? Goth kids? I forget. I hate them both._

I looked for anything hanging from his neck. Then, I saw it.

A shiny grey color. It was hanging in the center of all the keys and junk around his neck. Plus, it had lace wrapped around it with a tag that said, 'home key'. You couldn't mistaken it.

I was about to put it in the lock when I remembered something. Oh wait, that wasn't the REAL house key!

Craig always carried a fake one around that would sound an alarm in the house if that key was inserted in the lock. It was his family's weird strategy for security. The real one was at the back of the lanyard.

I felt around on the back of his neck for the small piece of metal...

_I got it!_

I slid it into the hole and turned the lock.

It made a little clicking noise. I pushed the door open.

It was realy dark inside his house. Nothing was showing light- not even those little lights on those DVD players that show the time. Nope. Dark. That was the first word that would pop into your mind if you were at his house right now.

I knew how his house looked like by heart; not that I'm his stalker or anything... I've been here so many times, it's like my second home. I walked around the couch and the coffee table... Then went to the stairway. I walked up it, struggling a little bit since the weight of Craig and our backpacks sort of dragged me backwards.

When I got to the top, I turned to the right, and went to the first door on the left. That was his bedroom.

There was a Red Racer poster on his door, and there was red glitter that was spilled beneath the door.

I opened it and it creaked. Inside was his pet hamster, Stripe. He was sleeping, like everyone else in the house. I walked to where Craig's bed was, then set him down on it.

I think he might be getting a little too old for Red Racer, although he says he would die without it. Oh well.

I rested Craig's head on his pillow, and took my jacket off him. I put his blanket on him instead. I took his blue hat and set it on the nightstand by his bed.

His heavy breathing stopped, and he was breathing normally now. I saw the blood marks still on his face. Grabbing an old T-shirt that he had nearby, I wiped most of the red off his face and arms. I set the shirt aside, and put his backpack by his wardrobe. Then, I left.

I stepped out into his hallway then closed his door quietly. I was about to go downstairs when I heard someone.

The other door on the left side of the hall opened, and I saw a little girl, about 7 years old, and her eyes were wide. She looked terrified.

I ran down the stairs before she could get a good look at me.

"BURGULAR!" I heard her scream at the top of her lungs.

I ran as fast as I could out of the house and slammed the door. I would've woken up the whole family, and I think I did.

I ran down the street until the house was no longer visible.

Time to go back home. When I get back home, I'm gonna have a nice cup of coffee, then hit the hay.

_No. Wrong._

Craig's little sister had screamed so loudly that she woke up part of the neighborhood. Officer Barbrady was nearby, and I guess he must've gotten a call from one of the neighbors. I heard his siren turn on.

What was I gonna do now?

Run and go home, or hide and risk getting caught?

I decided to run. Running was my best skill. He probably wouldn't be able to catch up with me.

But... maybe I would meet the same fate as Craig. Maybe I would run too fast and I'd run into a tree like him, and fall to the ground helplessly covered in blood.

No, I'd rather be caught.

I ran around a corner then bent down and hid.

I could still hear the siren. He was getting close.

I held my breath and waited for it to pass away. It was still there! Did he know where I was?

I let go of my breath and stood still for just a few more seconds. No... He's still there!

I risked taking a look around the corner. Quietly I shuffled my legs and turned my head.

"HOLY COW IT'S-" I started yelling, but then someone's hand came over my mouth.

"Shush, kid. You're gonna wake up the whole neighborhood." A voice started speaking.

I was so alarmed that when I looked up at that guy's face I almost didn't recognise him. "O-officer Barbrady?" I managed to say something with his hand over my mouth.

"Yeah, kid. Who'd ya think I was?" He put his other hand on my shoulder. I flinched and stumbled backwards a little bit. "Whoa, kiddo. Stop moving. I gotta put handcuffs on ya."

EH? "Handcuffs? Why?"

I was scared now. I was more scared right now more than I've ever been scared in my life.

Hey, I'm facing a police officer in the middle of the night. He has a really scary face, I can tell you that. Even scarier than Mr. Mackey's.

"Well, uh... That's my job. I gotta lock up people and take 'em to the station where they fill out papers and then they get donuts and then they go to jail and then they do more stuff to ya. You get the point." Officer Barbrady's breath reeked of tuna fish sandwiches and hot sauce. Stinky.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to run, because I knew he'd still catch me again. I didn't want to face him and fight, because then I'd get in more trouble. Besides, I'm a not that much of a good fighter anyways. I could also try to talk myself out of this...? Nah. I'm too shy... I don't like talking to strangers; Officer Barbrady wasn't a stranger to me, but he was scary. I don't like scary people.

I guess I'm going to have to deal with this for now. I'll figure something out.

Officer finally let go of my mouth and reached out for my waist. He tugged at it, and I panicked. "AGH! What are you doing?"

He stopped for a minute and looked at me. Well, I didn't know if he looking right at me or not. His sunglasses blocked me from seeing his eyes. "Turn around. I gotta put the handcuffs on your hands on your back." Gosh, he doesn't have the SLGHTEST idea of how to put together a proper sentence.

I stopped for a moment to think about what he said, and he reached out for my waist again. I thought of something quick to say. "Wait, why can't you cuff me with my arms in the front?"

I guess he didn't hear me. He still reached for my waist, then tried to turn me around. I ended up falling on his foot. "Ouch, kid! That hurt!"

"Sorry. You knocked me over." I replied. I wasn't actually sorry; what'd I do wrong?

He pulled me up and I stood upright. "Well, move along now, kid. I got things to do." Officer Barbrady said that as if nothing ever happened.

Retarded cop. Really, really retarded cop.

I watched him as he opened the door to his car, and he went inside and turned on his engine, then drove away. Well, at least he was a better driver than Ms. Crapapple. She was our school bus driver, and drove as if there was no tomorrow. She's deadly. I can't believe everyone's still alive.

His siren was still on, blaring so loud you could hear it on the other side of the world. I guess he forgot to turn it off.

Well. Time to go home, eh?

I walked down the street, whistling as I hauled my backpack along with me.

~*~*~*~ Here I was.

Home.

I walked onto the porch and dug around in my pocket for the keys, making a little jingling noise as I looked for them.

Ah. Found it.

I unlocked the door, and turned the knob.

As soon as I stepped into my house, the sweet smell of coffee filled my mind. Everything about my family smelled like coffee.

It was late. I glanced at my wristwatch and gasped. "11:45PM...? Jesus Christ, it's late." I muttered quietly to myself.

I ran upstairs to my room as fast as I could. Forget the coffee. If I didn't get enough sleep, I wouldn't be able to go to school tomorrow!

I opened the door. "What the...?"

I saw my mom and my dad... and that didn't look like my room...?

Oh wait! It wasn't my room. Whoops.

I closed the door, and I felt my cheeks turn hot.

I went to the other side of the hallway, and that's where my room was. I opened it and smiled at the sight of all my things in my room. It was great to be back here, even though I was gone for only 4 hours.

I took off all my clothes, and changed into my pajamas. I was really tired. I didn't bother with zipping up my sweater or anything. I just wanted to sleep, so I could wake up tomorrow and go to school, like normal.

I shut my eyes and sighed.

Dream time... I always get good dreams about me in a world where everything is made out of candy. It's nice, yet scary at the same time.

~*~*~*  
>NEXT DAY<p>

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-

7:15 AM

-Click!

"Mmph..." I rolled over in the tangled mess of bed sheets. I had dreamt that I was drowning in an ocean and I was rolling around, waving my arms and legs like crazy as if I was trying to swim in my sleep. There was this one time that I had a sleepover at Craig's house with Clyde and Token. I had been kicking around in my sleep that night, and when I woke up I realized they all had their cameras on and they were recording me. Clyde said it looked like I was getting raped. Such a pervert...

I shook my head, clearing the thoughts. I glanced weakly at my calender, the sun shining off the shiny paper and half-blinded me.

Friday morning. How nice. The weekend is finally here!

I rolled around in bed a little bit more until I fell off. I landed with a loud THUD on the ground. If I hadn't been partly awake while I fell I would've killed myself.

"AGH! WHAT THE HECK!" Screaming, I rubbed my sore head. I accidently hit it on my table next to my bed on the way down. Ouchies. I scream "Agh, what the heck?" everytime I get hurt... Craig and Butters have gotten used to it, and I think they're saying it too.

I was half awake. There was still sleep drowning me out from the real world. I didn't think I actually was awake. I hate that feeling... Got me in trouble once, but I won't go into details.

Opening my eyes, I squinted at the bright light shining through my window. It's this bright? How...? The sun usually didn't rise until 8:00 or something. As soon as my eyes got adjusted to the light, I stood up and went out my door, going down the cold hallway into the bathroom.

I flipped the lights on and hit my arm on the side of the door. The door was so narrow, you could barely fit in there. Whoever built this house probably was as skinny as hell... Turning on the sink, I reached for the cold water knob and turned it until the water rushing out from the sink was as cold as the weather. It even looked like there was small pieces of ice coming from it now. I cupped my hands under it, holding water and threw it all in my face.

My parents forced me to do this every morning. They say it's the only way for me to wake up all the way without killing myself. I'm not sure what they mean by that. Anyways, the water was really cold; that was the purpose, right? Cold water also burns your face afterwards. Cold water is also cold- I bet you didn't know that!

I mumbled to myself as I wiped my face dry with my shirt and walked out the bathroom door back into my room. I walked over to my dirty clothes basket and started digging around in it, trying to find some clothes to wear. I don't do my laundry that much. Underwear gnomes... It'd be easier to explain, unlike everything else.

I reached down at the bottom for a dark red T-shirt and a blue hoodie that I wore probably week ago or something. Hey, it didn't smell THAT bad.

Fumbling through the clothes, I finally dug out a pair of jeans and socks. I had socks with rainbow stars all over it. It was a hand-down from my older cousin who was in the richer parts of Colorado. I envy her greatly...

I took off the pajamas I was sleeping in and put the new outfit on. It was loose and cold. I still smelled like coffee, as always. All the people at school ask if I've been bathing in coffee. I said no to all of them, except for Kevin. I wasn't paying to attention to him when I answered, then he went around and told everyone I bathed in coffee. Embarassing... I don't know what happened to that kid. I guess he got killed or something...

It was about 7:20 right now. I had to get ready for school. I also had to get my sister ready too. My parents adopted her over the summer. She was still little and didn't know how to do stuff by herself. I don't like her all that much. She's got ADHD, and never listens to me. The horrible person she is...

I grabbed my book bag and quickly headed out my door and went over to my sister's room. I knocked on it gently.

No answer.

I quietly reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly. "Christina...? You in there?"

Still no answer.

I opened the door all the way in shock. There was nobody there; the bed sheets were all folded up and everything. It looked like nobody even touched her bed last night.

Well, I guess she must be downstairs.

I went out of her room and down the stairway. The stairs were so steep... When I was younger, I had to climb each step individually. Yeah; whoever built this house was weird- maybe insane, even.

Downstairs, I didn't find anyone- not even mom or dad. Well, I saw them last night. Where could they be? I guess they took Christina to work again with them again. She doesn't go to school on Fridays, because her pre-school isn't open on that day. Lucky.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a peppermint candy, then placed it in my mouth. I got a cup of water and drank it all down, then got a handful of dry cereal and stuffed that in my mouth. I never had time to sit down and eat. The guys at school always told me I was scrawny for some reason.

I wiped away the crumbs on the mouth and turned to look at the time. 7:35AM... Time for me to go outside and-

HONK!

I heard the screech of the school bus and the sound of children screaming in fear outside.

There was also the faint voice of someone yelling. "DAMMIT TWEEK, COME OUT ALREADY! IT'S COLD! WE'RE LATE!" Ms. Crabapple. I hate her... Such an extreme person.

I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door. The bus was parked uncomfortably close to my house. It wasn't on the road- it was literally about half an inch away from touching my porch. I swear, one day she's gonna crash into my house and kill me. I know deep down inside of her she wants to do that to somebody's house real bad.

I ran outside and slammed the door. I went to the school bus and climbed on. I had barely stepped onto the first step, and then she started speeding off; I almost fell. The school bus almost frontflipped over, and she was driving at about 1,000 miles an hour. She'd have us killed before we would ever get to school, but we always managed to survive. I held on tighly to the rail on the steps and pulled myself inside.

I walked down the aisle of laughing girls and boys drawing on themselves with Sharpie. Finally, I found myself a good spot.

Near the end on the left, there was Craig. Nobody was around him within a 3 yard radius. I guess he was saving a spot for me?

I smiled at him, he smiled back.

Aw. How nice.

I walked closer to him, and saw his face. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face still had blood from yesterday, but he still looked friendly like he ususally is. I guess he hadn't washed it off yet, or maybe he didn't notice. He was looking out the window, staring at my house.

I sat down next to him, feeling uncomfortbble. I set my bookbag noisily on the floor by my feet, trying to get his attention.

Finally, he turned his head and looked at me. "Hi."

"Oh, hi Tweek. Didn't see you there." Craig flipped his hair and waited for me to say something back.

"It's fine... How was the cemetery thing y-yesterday?"

Craig's face lit up as I mentioned the cemetery. "I won! Can ya believe it?"

I stared blankly at him. "But... but you were... Cartman was..."

"Cartman got lost. That means I won." Craig looked at me sternly as if he didn't want me to talk about it anymore. It was his way of saying, this conversation's over.

"Oh. C-congratulations. I'm g-glad for you." I stammered and looked down at my feet. How was I supposed to tell him what had happened? It wasn't going to be easy to explain.

Just then, the school bus hit a fence, then half of a poor guy's house. The back half of the school bus tore off, and everyone screamed in horror.

Ms. Crabapple probably didn't notice half the vehicle was gone. She kept driving like she normally does. I guess she's been playing Grand Theft Auto a little bit TOO much.

Then, she screeched to another halt and screamed out the door. We were at the bus stop where Kyle, Stan, Butters, Kenny, and Cartman would stand and wait. I looked out the window and saw that Kyle and Stan were laughing as if they'd just seen the funniest thing on earth. Butters and Kenny looked like they were normal. Butters was cheerfully singing to himself while Kenny was staring at everything with emotionless eyes, carrying a bookbag full of porn magazines.

They all climbed on the bus. Kenny and Butters walked down the aisle near us, looking for a spot. I was about to ask Craig if Butters could sit with us until he shoved me off the seat.

"Agh! W-what'd you do that for?" I yelled at him as I fell to the ground, landing on my right arm. Ouch.

I looked at him, waiting for an answer as Kenny sat down by Craig's side. Craig just looked away and flipped me off; then started talking to Kenny.

I could hear them talking. "How was it yesterday?"

"I won! Can ya believe it?"

They both laughed and ignored me, hurt on the floor of the bus.

So this is how my best buddy treats me? My best friend! How could he? He'd never do this to me, ever! Unless...

There was something wrong...? No, something had happened; and I wasn't there to see it.

Just then the bus jerked and took off again at breakneck speed. I fell backwards on my back and clutched my bookbag. I saw Stan and Kyle a few seats in front of me and they had fallen on top of each other on accident. They were laughing. Why couldn't I be happy like they were?

They were best friends. I guess I just lost my best friend, or maybe he's having a bad day. I hope he's just having a bad day and that he'll get over it sooner or later.

I tried to stand up again to sit on the seats behind Craig and try to talk to him, until I slipped on a stray piece of some dude's jelly sandwich from about a month ago, and fell back down again.

Crashing back down, I groaned in pain. I had landed on top of my bookbag, which carried that knife that I'd tried to give Kenny yesterday, and Cartman didn't want to give it to him so I still kept it. It was a good thing I had landed on the dull side of the knife, otherwise I wouldn't have been... nevermind.

I rolled on my back near the broken end of the bus. I was almost falling off. "No!"

The bus rolled over a bump, and the bus jerked up and back down. I lost my grip and fell on the road. I fell off the bus.

Can you believe it! First I lost my best friend, and now I lost my trip to school on the bus!

I saw the bus speed away without me. Nobody had noticed I fell off. Nobody had noticed I was in pain. Nobody noticed ME.

I wanted to stay on the ground and cry right there. I was hurt. Really hurt- both emotionally and physically.

Laying on my side, I cringed and hugged my right knee, which was scratched and was bleeding from the fall. I hate falling on my knees. Hurts, badly. I already had about 5 bandages on my left knee. Now I need bandages on the other. Great, wasn't it?

I felt my cheeks turn hot in anger and sadness. Don't feel so bad, Tweek. Things will get better soon. I heard a voice in my head say.

Yeah, I guess things will clear up eventually.

But for now, I think looking at things the bad way would help me more. I'm not sure how, but it was easier to thing about bad things at this moment rather than good things. Think about it. You'd be more cormfortable lying on the cold road thinking about getting run over, rather than think you'd just win a surprise trip to Disneyland. Oh yeah, that's bound to happen.

I stopped moaning and tried to get up. I stood up, finally and tried to walk. Limping, I walked over to my bookbag that was dropped after I had fallen, so it was a few yards away from where I had landed.

I grabbed it on slung it on my back. Great. How am I going to get to school now?

I looked around for any signs of the bus. Nope. It was probably long gone by now. I doubt it would come back for me, so might as well give up hopes of the bus coming back. Maybe a car would come by and volunteer to bring me to school? Nah. Nobody would want to help someone like me. I look ghetto; with my ripped clothes and blood stains.

I should forget the idea of running. I was in no shape to run. Maybe I could just walk?

I guess I could walk, but school was really far away. It would take me about 2 hours until I'd finally get there. Besides, I'd be late.

I looked around again. A broken bike was lying on the side of the road. I guess it got rolled over by the bus. I walked over to it.

It was broken in half. Nope. No use in trying to ride a bike to school. I could never ride one; I woudl always wobble here and there.

There was only one more way I could get to school. To the left of me was a forest, and it led to school if I walked straight through it. There was a path that led into it. I could try going through there.

It was sort of a... shortcut. I discovered it when the guys and I at school snuck out and we had to find a shortcut. I was one of the few who were followers, and didn't do anything but walk down the path.

Nobody really finds use for me anymore. I always screw things up whenever I try to help. It's like I'm more trouble trying to help than being help; that's what Christopher told me once. I hate that kid- he whacked Kenny with his shovel once. Knocked him out for about 5 whole days!

I was determined to get to school on time, because if I didn't, my parents would kill me. I'd be in big trouble. I walked over to the entrance of the forest. It'd take me only about 5 minutes to get there, and I'd still have time to spare. Who knows, maybe I'd get there before the bus did.

I stepped into the quiet forest, the dirt path guiding my way. I felt like I was in a movie... What was it called, Alice in Wonderland? I loved that story when I was younger- when I was in 2nd grade I had dressed up as Alice one year for Halloween. It was an unusual costume, but I loved it. I think I still have it at home... Maybe I could wear a new costume like that next year or something. The guys at school forced me to wear girl's clothes at this one party during 5th grade. They wanted to see who would look the best in girl's clothes- with the pink glitter and purfume and everything. When we were all done, I was one of the last standing, alone with Butters and Kyle. Obviously, Cartman was eliminated first. All the boys were looking at Kyle, then me; they tried not to stare at Butters. I knew they wanted to buttfuck Butters as much as I did, but we still had to face the fact that he WASN'T a girl. Good times... I had to wear the clothes the rest of the day, since the guys liked it so much. I still remember what I wore- a black french maid's dress with a short skirt, then a pink shirt with a purple striped jacket and rainbow hair clips in my blond hair.

Halloween had already passed this year. I didn't celebrate it this year because I had to be locked up in my room, grounded because I forgot to do my math homework that week.

I pretended to be Alice in Wonderland, walking around trying to get to the Magical Kingdom. I used to imagine I was a fairy tale character, and I drew doodles of them in my notes during class.

Alice, walking in the mysterious forest. I have no idea where to go, but the only ways to go is back where I came, or straight foreward. Not left, not right.

I took deep breaths as I walked, trying not to panic as a rat or a spider would pop out here and there. Mysterious creatures in the forest... They are calling my name. Tweek, you're stepping on us! Give us mercy! I shook my head. I hallucinate too much; need to lay off the strong coffee.

Haha. I laughed at the thought, although I feel sorry for those little bugs which I had stepped on.

I kept walking until I had tripped on an awfully large tree root jutting in the ground out of nowhere. I keep falling! "Agh...!" I fell forewards and landed on my stomach; face down.

My face almost touched a poison ivy leap hiding in a crack in the ground. I blew it away from me, and it turned out to be just a maple leaf. I sighed in relief.

Just then, I felt a stinging pain flooding my chest. I had landed on something I probably shouldn't have.

I started to panic. What was it? Was I going to die? What is it?

I tried to calm down, but it was no use. I jumped up and started screaming, swatting at whatever was on my chest. Everytime I hit it, it hurt even more, so I stopped.

The pain because so unbearable, I stopped in my tracks. I felt like falling down again. Instead, I leaned against a tree trunk and shut my eyes, feeling my chest gently with my fingers, touching the warm blood that was trickling down the side of my body. Whatever I had fallen on must've pierced through my chest. It was something sharp...

Just then, it all clicked together. Maybe it was the knife that belonged to Kenny! No... No... Please don't let it be the knife- anything but the knife!

I shut my eyes even harder, trying to keep the tears of fear from trickling down my cold cheek. I was shaking with my heart beating so hard it felt like it wanted to just jump out of my throat. My numb hands felt around my chest again, trying to find the thing that was jabbed in my chest, making blood drip down my shirt and staining it with blood- lots of it. "Agh... It hurts..."

I found it stuck right in the middle of my chest, below my throat. It didn't kill me yet, so I guess it didn't hit any vital organs. I gripped my fingers around it, trying to pull it out, but my arm felt like it was stuck. I couldn't move. Great... I was so afraid I was paralyzed- numb; I couldn't move.

Please... Tweek. Move- wake up. Get out of here, and get to school like you normally do. I felt dizzy as I gripped onto the shard lodged in my chest, blood covering my fingers and seeping into my gloves. Come on... You can do this. That little voice inside my head chimed agian.

I felt a burst of energy go through me. I felt like someone was pulling the shard out from my chest for me. My fingers slipped off the wet, sharp piece that was once stuck in my chest. It was bloody, I could smell it. My blood even smelled like coffee!

I moaned in pain. It was out, but it felt less painful with it lodged in my chest. Drops of blood landed around my mouth; it tasted like coffee with a metallic tone. Now that it was out, I worried I could get an infection... or maybe a disease?

I opened my eyes. The shard lay in my palm, covered in blood. It was just a stick. A stick!

Not a knife, a stick! Fallen from the treetops. Oh, Tweek, you are hopeless.

I threw the worthless twig behind me in digust. Alice has been stabbed by a freaking stick.

I felt like I was sick. I wasn't sick, but I felt like I've been ill for ages, but I had to move on. I'm going to be late for school. Alice will be late, just like her rabbit friend. She needs to hurry, or trouble will find her.

I walked on through the dark path of the forest, ignoring the trail of red that dripped behind me. I covered the wound with my hand, but it wasn't helping. I was losing blood; lots of blood. If I didn't stop the bleeding, I would eventually die from blood loss.

I took off my jacket, and covered my wound with it. I've been heartbroken, literally.

I kept walking, but then I had to stop again. Something wasn't right.

I looked behind me. The trail of blood was gone! All there was left was slobber, probably from some animal that passed by.

Wait... maybe there was a wild animal out here! I could get bitten, then I would get rabies!

That'd be bad!

"Ack!" I felt something hit my back, like a boulder being flung at me. I fell foreward, but I didn't hit the ground. I brought up my arms and sheilded my face, leaning on a nearby tree trunk.

I felt dizzy. One of my arms reached behind me, feeling my back. There were... scratches? Yeah, scratches. Deep, bloody gashes.

Something had scratched me. Maybe it was a tree branch or something.

No... Part of my shirt had been ripped off. Something had grabbed my shirt and scratched me.

A large animal, perhaps?

Oh no...

I started to panic again. When was I ever going to learn not to panic? Everytime I panic, there's always trouble. Trouble is bad, just like crooks and theives.

Alice is being helplessly attacked by theives and who knows what... What will she do now?

I felt numb. My legs wobbled as I tried to turn and run out the forest so I could get to school. I ran a few feet before something caught onto my foot. Somthing grabbed me, like a hand. I fell to the ground again. "Agh..."

Then, I blanked out.

~*~*~*~ I blinked several times. Where was I? It still looked like I was in the forest, but in a different part of it. It was brighter here, with no fallen leaves or anything like that.

I was being carried by something... or someone. Whoever it was was grabbing me really tightly, and grabbing in a way where I'd rather die than be carried this way. It was touching my...

Nevermind.

Every step that it took, it shook me; hard. I spat out blood a few times. It dribbled down the side of my mouth and down my neck, either dripping down to the ground or seeping into my shirt.

My hoodie was gone. I guess I had dropped it and it was left behind.

I panicked again. Oh no.

"Where... Where am I?" I spoke with my voice so full of fear, you'd be able to sense it if you were on the other side of the world.

The creature who was carrying me growled, then oinked, then burped.

Talk about nasty...

I opened my eyes for real this time, and observed where I was. We were going to the top of a high hill. Whoever carrying me was really weird looking. The footsteps of a man, but his arms that were around me were pink-ish looking with the long sharp claws of a bear.

Weird.

Then I realized. This was no oridinary creature.

This was...

"MANBEARPIG!" Al Gore seemed to jump out of nowhere, as if on cue. I saw him, and he was carrying 2 samurai swords. The heck?

"Al Gore? I-i thought you d-died already...?" I stammered. Things were getting way too weird.

"No! I'm here protecting innocent citezens like you from the demonish ManBearPig!" Al Gore said that as if he was speaking to the whole entire world.

Manbearpig seemed to be ignoring him, and was happily hauling me away to God knows where.

Al Gore starting swinging the swords around like a madman, and charged towards me and ManBearPig.

He swung once and missed, then swung again and hit himself. "Ouch! That was not good!"

He tried running, but fell over; the swords in his hands turned loose and flew into the air- in my direction.

One of the swords flew straight into ManBearPig's back, and he reared back and dropped me. ManBearPig ran off into the forest.

Al Gore apparently was knocked out cold from falling so hard. The other sword was still in the air, aiming to hit me.

My eyes grew wide, then clamped shut. I was afraid to see what would happen.

My arms were covering my head, and I was standing up. I didn't feel like getting hit by a sword while on the ground. I was afraid I wouldn't get back up.

Long seconds passed by, and then it happened. "Agh..." I winced in pain.

It slashed me in one swift stroke, then fell to the ground, hitting my leg that was in the way. The sword had hit the left side of my arm, and my stomach. My right knee had blood dripping from it; all my wounds were bloody and red. I still had the strength to stand.

Alice. She would've died, wouldn't she?

I could stand, which means I could live. I felt like falling to the ground again, but if I did, then it would be all over.

I glanced at my wristwatch. "No, it's 8:01AM!" I turned around to look at the path in the forest that led to school. "I'm late!"

I tried to run, but I stumbled and nearly fell again. I slowed down to a fast walk. The searing pain in my skinny legs making me jump in pain. I held my left arm with my other hand, trying to cover up the wounds as well as I could, but it didn't work. A huge, deep gash still bled on my arm. My heart was thumping so hard, I would've thought it'd explode. My skin had been torn in so many places... The blood dripping from me hadn't killed me yet. I was losing so much blood, I doubt I would survive without immediate help.

This was what pioneers did when they were on the way to California back then, right? Some wanted to go alone, with no help... They wanted to get somewhere, but they had obstacles in the way. They had to face them, getting hurt and facing whatever came their way. Just like...

"Me."

I stumbled to my left and then to the right. I kept up the unsteady pattern until I was at the bottom of the hill, and back where I was when the stick was pierced in my chest.

I had to find my bookbag... Where was it?

I looked around frantically, looking here and there. No. It's gone...

Just then, I found something hanging in a tree branch.

Nope, that's not it. Just the other part of my shirt. I guess it was..-

WAIT A MINUTE. MY SHIRT?

I glanced at the branch again- the branch that scratched my back and tore my shirt. It wasn't a creature after all. I sighed. Who knew?

I picked the piece of cloth down from the tree, and behind it was my bookbag; hiding from me. Did I really lose that much of my shirt?

No matter. I have my bookbag, and I want to get back to school. I was still hurt, with the dark trail of blood following me. What if ManBearPig came back?

I can't risk that.

I ran as fast as I could through the forest and I finally came out of it, facing the school's playground.

So that's why a bunch of weird stuff has been coming to our playground.

I looked up at the sky, and it was dark grey.

Huh. I remembered that this morning it was bright. Oh well. Crazy weather, huh?

I went around the side of the school playground to where the front door was. I walked up to it and pulled at the knob.

"No, it's locked!" That meant I was late.

My head hurt, and I felt like I was going insane. I could hear my heart beating. Thump... thump... thump...

The last thing that I'd ever do in school ever was to be late. I was never late! Ever!

I looked around for another way to get into the school. Into a window?

I thought about it for a while. Yeah, I guess I could. But where?

This was crazy. Really crazy, but I've done crazier things.

Thinking about how to break into the school, I walked around the side of the building, peeking around for open windows without the locks on them, or if they were already open.

Finally, I found one.

I looked inside, to check if there was anyone was in there.

Nope! Nobody! And the window was fully open too!

What luck.

I had barely put my leg through the window when I stopped.

Wait... What if I get caught? I'd get in more trouble than I'm in now!

I shook my head. "No matter. I'll find an excuse."

I climbed in and looked around. This was my class. Mr. Garrison's class. There was supposed to be a substitute teacher today; I wonder who she is.

I looked around the classroom, making absolutely sure there was nobody in the classroom.

Mr. Garrison's desk had an one of the shelves open, and a dildo was lying on the floor. Typical.

There was also a black cap on the camera in the top corner of the room. It looked like Stan's gothic hat. He never, ever, ever wore it anymore. It doesn't look good on him. Kyle said he looked badass. I disagree greatly.

There were also referral papers lying by the door. Someone was in here.

Somebody... Somebody was in here!

I held my breath and ducked down. Whaf if they can see me, but I can't see them?

I have to sneak out of the classroom, and create a distraction. No, better. I'll evacuate everyone out of the building, so I can get into the office and get my named cleared off the tardy list.

That's a good idea. Then I could be back to normal, and go back to class like none of this ever happened. But how? I wanted this to be a normal day.

Well, I wasn't looking like I was normal. I looked like I was beat up in a ninja fight or something. Deep wounds, ripped clothes, blood everywhere, and messy hair. You'd think I'd be one of those teenagers going around murdering people just for the fun of it.

No no no no no. If you REALLY knew me, I'd be the complete opposite.

Okay, back to getting everyone to evacuate the building. How the heck am I supposed to do that?

Maybe I could pull a prank. No... I'm too shy.

Come on Tweek, you can do this. Don't be shy. Shyness never gets you anywhere. Token once told me that, and he's one of the bravest people I know.

I took a deep breath and stood up. I don't care if anyone sees me; I'm going.

I stood near the door, looking out into the hallway. There was nobody that I could see.

Then, I saw it.

YES. Jackpot.

The fire alarm. I could pull it, then everyone floods into the halls like old women at a clearance store and goes outside escaping from the "fire".

Such idiots. They'll seriously fall for this.

I chuckled. This was the best plan ever! I'm so smart.

I ran out the door as quietly as I could and stood near the fire alarm.

I was about to pull it when I heard a voice. "Well, hello there, children!"

It was Chef. He always said 'children' whenver he greeted any of the students here, even if theres only one person. "Oh! Tweek, what the fudge are you doing?" He ran in my direction, trying to stop me from pulling the fire alarm, but he was too slow. I pulled it; then faster than you could ever imagine, there were people flooding into the hallways and running like madmen. I ran into the guys' bathroom and hid there from Chef and the all the other kids in the school.

I muttered to myself. "So... After they all empty out, I can go into the office and clear myself from the absent list. Easy." I gave a crooked smile, then realized something.

This wasn't me. This wasn't me, at all. Here I was, hiding in the boys' bathroom like I just murdered someone and stole all their life's savings, then I was planning to do something else big.

It's like I was in drug rehab and I came clean, but I don't do drugs. No sir, drugs are bad.

It felt like it took forever, but everyone finally cleared out of the school. I stepped out into the hall, and the lights were off.

I guess the teachers turned off the lights so the firefighters coming could find the fire easier, but there was no fire.

I ran to the office, squinting so I could see where I was going. I can see pretty well in the dark, unlike other people; but I hate the dark. Hate it... hate it...

In the office, I smelled the mixed scent of toothpaste and soap, along with purfume- the distinct smell of the vicious office teachers.

Ha, Craig exaggerated to me about those teachers in the office. He told me that they were vicious cannibals in disguise and that they're planning to take over the world. Scared the pants off of me... He's great at making stories.

I walked behind the information desk and past the filing cabients to where the absent list binders were.

I pulled out the binder that said "6th grade" and flipped it open to my name.

It said I was absent today. I waved my hand over a desk, trying to find a pen or a pencil laying somewhere so I could mark my name.

I finally found one. A blue ink pen with a flower on the top and zebra duct tape covering it. The teachers just have the WORST sense of decoration; ever. I crossed out the tardy stamp on the page, but then some blood from my arm drbbled onto it.

Yikes. That's not good. I'll have to blame it on someone else.

I put down the blue pen and pointed my index finger, and gently touched some blood dripping from the edge of my mouth, and wrote with the blood on the page. I wrote : Pip was HERE

I closed the binder and stuffed it back o nthe shelf where I had found it. "Who's late now?" I giggled madly with a crooked smile and walked away from the desk.

Just then, I smelled something.

The sweet smell of coffee.

Oh my God. It's the kind of coffee where it's... Oh my God.

I sniffed the air several times like a dog and followed the scent, and it lead me into the teachers lounge; the room next door to the office.

Inside the teacher's lounge, there was a large couch with pillows and a towel. There was also a few tables with leftover soda cans and papers. There was even a TV, and a PS3 by the couch.

But the most precious thing of all... was the coffee maker.

It was the newest type of coffee maker, with a setting on it where you make coffee that's can be a specific temperature...

Have I ever said that coffee is my number one unnatural obsession? Coffee to me is like, a drug. Addiction. Can't get enough.

I reached for the coffee maker and turned it on. I hadn't had any coffee this morning, just water.

Then, I heard the sound of people talking and murmering.

Darn, they were back! Already? It's only been...

I glanced at my wristwatch. 8:25 AM. Holy cow, it's been about 15 minutes. That was fast.

I had to get out, or else they'd see me.

But... the coffee...! I can't leave it here!

I grabbed the coffee maker and unplugged it, so I could take it with me.

Look at me now- I'm a 6th grader in a little school where there's insane people and I'm jacking a coffee machine.

A normal person in a normal place. If you're not someone like me, you're not normal.

As soon as I unplugged it, the lights in the building turned back on, and I was blinded. I heard footsteps come closer and closer.

The teachers!

I had to get out the window. That was the only way out without getting seen.

I tried navigating through the messy lounge to get to the window, being blinded by the bright lights. I bumped into things on the floor, like old newspapers and cookie boxes. When I thought I had been near what I had thought was the window, I decided to jump; so I stepped back, and jumped.

Bad idea.

It wasn't the window! No, not even CLOSE to being a window!

Ya guess what it was?

It was a cardboard box filled with pins.

Not clothes pins, but PINS!- NEEDLES- Sharp, skinny sticks!

They were all over me now. Jabbing me in every direction. My skin was pierced with thousands of little needles inside of me. Some of them are in more worse places but, let's not talk about that.

The coffee inside the coffee maker had been done by the time I jumped in the box of needles, so it spilled all over my face, burning me and trickling down my neck, staining my clothes and giving my blood at more coffee-like scent.

The teachers probably wouldn't be able to see me, but I'm pretty sure they heard me and could probably smell me.

Well, I can see again now. The coffee helped me see again for some reason.

When I realized where the window was, I wanted to kill myself.

It was on the other side of the room. I had gone the wrong way; right into the box of needles.

Lovely.

I ran as fast as I could and clutched my bookbag with me, along with the coffee maker and jumped into the air, aiming for the window.

HOLY FREAK!

The window wasn't open... The window wasn't open!

I closed my eyes and clutched everything tightly, and braced for impact.

SMASH! I crashed through the window, shards of glass flying everywhere. The glass had knocked some of the pins off me, but the glass made new scars on my skin. I was bleeding all over. So much blood... and to think, girls find blood being ATTRACTIVE of some sick way. Vampires, they say. They'd think that being bitten by a vampire would be their dying wish, and that they think it's a sexy thought. What's wrong with girls these days... There's a reason why I don't like them.

I was breathing heavily, biting down on my tounge so I wouldn't scream out in pain. I made it outside, but I made a freakin' huge mess on the way out. I limped on my only good foot, clutching the coffee maker and my bookbag and dragged myself around the corner, and I set it all down.

I was safe. I was out- for now.

I wasn't late anymore. I was worse.

I'm a horrible person!

Sooner or later the teachers will find out where I am. I have to hide, then find a way to return to the classroom.

I don't think that I'd be able to do that. It's a one in a million chance that I'll be able to get back into the classroom like I normally do today.

I sighed and shut my eyes. What will I do now?

I looked around the corner, and I saw some kids still outside, trying to return back into the building. Someone probably fell in the crowd.

I was tired. I was numb and hurt. My body ached with bloody scars, cuts, and holes. My face was in the worst condition. My hair still had shards of glass, and my face was partly burnt with needles sticking in every direction imaginable on my face.

I should probably pluck them all off. This was going to be painful.

The needles were really easy to take care of. I pulled them out, a few at a time in a little group. They didn't hurt all that much.

Now the glass... Holy cow. The glass was painful.

The first shard that I pulled out made me yelp a little bit. I hope nobody heard me.

No... To pull all of the shards out, I have to move somewhere where nobody can hear me, yet not see me at the same time.

Well, there was little little spot on the side of the building where the goth kids used to hang out before they moved to a different spot. Nobody could hear them there, or see them. We didn't know where they were until they had told us, and they always have blaring music on.

I decided to move there, for now. I'd be able to hide and pull all the shards out.

I grabbed the coffee maker and stuffed it into a part of my bookbag. It held, so I could carry the coffee and my books all in the same bag.

Hooray.

I quietly moved my feet, careful not to step on anything that'd make me fall. I almost turned the corner when I heard someone.

"Sweet Jesus..." I heard a familiar voice.

I stepped back in fear and grabbed my bookbag, digging around for that knife Kenny gave me. Whoever was around the corner COULD hurt me, and I didn't want to risk it.

I held the knife in my hand firmly and crept quietly back around the corner. I needed to get the glass shards out and return to class as soon as possible, and whoever was around the corner was an obstacle for me.

I jumped out, ninja style and swung the knife once, then the voices yelled.

"We are in really deep shit right now, Kenny."

"Yeah." I heard the another voice say. "Some seriously fucked up shit."

I blinked a few times then loosened my grip on the knife. They were...

"Craig and Kenny?" I said their names quietly.

I stepped closer to them and I saw them nod their heads in unison. "Yeah..." They were clutching each other as if they were about to die, and they didn't want to let go.

Then I saw Kenny pry Craig's arms from his shoulder and lunge at me. He grabbed me and slammed me against the brick wall. Pain seared through me; I yelled. "How do you know our names?" Kenny spat at me, demanding an answer.

I couldn't breathe. He was near to choking me.

I saw Craig behind Kenny, pulled at his hood. "Dude, calm down. It's just Tweek."

Kenny's face changed almost immediately, and he let go of me and stepped back in surprise. He held up his hands, trying to say he didn't do anything. "Whoa. Sorry." I breathed out in an unsteady manner, taking in large amounts of air and whining.

I cringed and started to sink onto my knees. The pain... It was unbearable. I don't want to go through this. End it now! Craig ran over to my side and tried to hold me up. "Tweek! Don't fall!"

But it was too late. I had fallen on my side, a large shard of glass piercing through my ribs and going through my flesh and hit something inside of me. I spat out blood, and everything went black.

"No..." I could still hear Craig. "Tweek, get up; please." He shook me, but I couldn't feel him. I was numb.

I heard Kenny kick the dirt and cough uncomfortably. Craig was still at my side, putting his hand on my face, stroking my hair. "Don't shut your eyes. Please..." His voice was breaking down. "Don't close your eyes."

My eyes were twitching and weak. I did as he asked. I didn't shut my eyes, enough though there was dust blowing into my eyes from the wind. I didn't care. I couldn't see, and I couldn't move all that much now.

Lying helplessly on the ground, I managed to move my hand a little. I reached for Craig's shoulder, and pulled one of the tassles on his hat towards me. I opened my mouth as if to speak, but words didn't come out.

Craig was silent. He was waiting for me to speak. "Come on Tweek, say something. Say whatever you need to say." He continued stroking my hair, knocking away the needles that were still tangled in my blond hair.

I wanted to do this for Craig. Using the last of my energy, I spoke. "Go... find Cartman."

I heard Craig stammering in surprise. "What do I have anything to do with that son of a bitch?" He said that with his voice full of hate, the kind of tone he has that I don't like.

I was disappointed. Those were going to be my famous last words, and now Craig was complaining about what I had said. I wasn't going to listen anymore.

I wasn't going to live anymore. I slowly shut my eyes, and gave out my last breath.

I don't think Kenny had noticed anything. He was just standing there, watching.

The last essence of me faded away. I was gone.  
>~*~*~*~ CHANGE OF POV: CRAIG<p>

I can't believe it. My best friend... He's... "He's gone..." I spoke with a rasp in my voice.

I hugged Tweek, not caring if the glass shards sticking out of him cut me. I didn't care. He was my best friend, and now he was gone. Why? What had happened? I want to find out what had happened.

I turned back around and looked at Kenny. He was texting on his phone. Son of a whore...

I let go of Tweek and set him on the ground. I stood up with fists, and ran over to Kenny. I was angry, yet sad at the same time. It's that kind of feeling you get when you lose something you love; you're sad that it's gone, and you're angry because it's lost. You can't get it back.

Well, I ran over to Kenny with tears in my eyes. "Why didn't you do anything!" I grabbed his shoulders and rammed Kenny into the wall, like he had done with Tweek. "Why? He was here, hurt and you didn't even care to help him!" I paused to take a deep breath. "You never do anything to help! Why am I even friends with you?" I shoved him one last time, and he fell to the ground.

I heard him yelp, and he grabbed his arm, which was now scratched pretty badly. I didn't care. He hurt my friend, so I have to hurt him back.

I ran over to Tweek, and kneeled by his side, I picked him up and ran away. I didn't know what to do, but deep inside of me there was only one word that echoed in my mind.

_Run._

**And, that's the end of chapter 2! Horrible, isn't it? No, please leave behind a review of what you think. I won't write another chapter until I get another review. So you, yes you, you could leave behind a reveiw, and that one review could be the encouragement for me writing another chapter. I bet you guys are just DIEING to find out what's gonna happen next.**

**Oh, and no, this will not be a yaoi story. So all you fangirls that came here for gay buttsecks, all your hopes in finding yaoi in this are CRUSHED.**

**Yaayyy... I doubt there's any guys reading this kind of stuff. If you are a guy, please tell me. I feel like I'm the only dude here writing these types of South Park fanfics.**

**Oh, and please note that in the story I used some stories from South Park in some of the episodes, but some of them I had made up. If you were a real South Park fan like me, you'd be able to figure out of of them.**

**And yes, Tweek is dead but there's still hopes for him to be recovered. I don't assure you that he'll come back to life or if he's gonna die forever. We'll just have to wait for the next chapter to come out.**


	3. Epic purple wings

**Hi everyone! This is chapter 3 of this Fanfic so far, and where I last left off, Tweek had appeared at school and met with Craig and Kenny behind the wall of the school. Tweek had fainted and Kenny didn't do anything to help him, then Craig got mad and ran away with Tweek in his arms.**

**I used a lot of commas in this fanfic O_O Punctuation is important, don't ya know! 3**

**Anyways, I hope you like this. Sorry it took so long to update!**

**Oh, and this chapter might seem a LITTLE disturbing to those people who don't like yaoi, or boyxboy. Please note that!**

**KENNY'S POV**

"Hey, wait! Craig!" I called out after Craig. His blue hat was flailing in the wind, and I could see Tweek's hair glistening with sharp metallic pins and shards of glass, sticking out in numerous directions from his messy blonde hair. Craig had ran away from me with Tweek in his arms, and was heading towards the school playground gate. Maybe he wanted to run off outside the school's premises and go home. Home, so that he could just forget school. _Forget me._

Naw, he wouldn't do that. He was going the wrong way, after all. The road to his neighborhood was in the opposite direction from where he was headed. Overhead, I was that the sky was turning a dark shade of gray, and the wind was picking up. Leaves surrounded the place flew around and scattered the ground. Cloudy and dark, it was also freezing cold out here. We live in South Park, Colorado -not down in the warm city of Mexico City.

I called out to Craig again, hoping that he would hear me. "Craig! Dude, can you hear me?" I cupped my gloved hands around my mouth and shouted again, only louder. "Craig!"

I sighed. It was no use. He wasn't going to come back, let alone listen to me. I guess he was mad at me or something. Did you see what he did to me a minute ago? First he shoved me into the brick wall, then pushed me down onto the cold and dirty ground, hurt. _What the hell was his problem anyways? I didn't do anything wrong._

At least, I don't think I did.

Well, now I knew for a fact that Craig was ignoring me. Oh, boo hoo. He's too upset about Tweek to care about me. Could he at least ask if I was okay before he ran off with Tweek to God knows where? Maybe he could have helped me up. That would be the least he could do. _I would stand up myself, but I can't get up, because um..._

I sat up, and then stood upright on my feet.

_Oh yeah. I can stand now. Hallelujah. Never mind what I said before, then._

I dusted the dirt from my jeans and took a deep breath. Either I could just forget all of t his and return back to class, and have a normal school day (which is almost **NEVER** normal, since some real strange shit happens almost everyday), or I can run and chase Craig, and follow him. Hm... What should I do?

No, durr. I'm going to go follow Craig, and see what the hell is wrong with him. I know he's just upset, but damn. He's carrying Tweek like a wedding bride, and he's been running for a while now. If I could, I would pull out my phone and take a video of him running away with Tweek in his arms. Then I would show it to everyone in the world. Ha. That would be the funny.

I looked up at the hill that I last saw Craig at, and noticed he was gone.

Wait a minute. Where the hell was Craig and Tweek anyways, and where was he planning to go? Probably somewhere that I wouldn't be able to find him. I'm guessing that he'd go and hide somewhere that I would never dare to look. He's a good player at hide-and-seek... I would never be able to find him hiding in the middle of nowhere for a million years. It'd take me forever before I'd find him. Even if he was just standing there right in front of me, I'd walk by him without knowing.

The smartest thing to do was to run to that hill right **NOW** and follow him right** NOW**, so I wouldn't lose him and then get myself lost. I get lost really easily, and I almost never seem to find my way back without someone helping me. Surely with me dying and walking down the same path back home for a million times already, you'd think I'd remember where to go. But no, I still forget every time and I get lost.

Everyone gets lost sometime. Admit it, you get lost sometimes too. _But, I think I get lost a little bit too much..._

Well, what the hell am I waiting for? I have to go follow Craig!

I slung my backpack onto my back and looked off into the distance. I stuffed my cold hands into my pockets, and started off running at a steady pace. Staring off into the distance, I saw a hill with a small dark blue blur, and a blur of green with it. That's Craig and Tweek, and boy, have they gotten far. But I'll be able to reach them. Just as long as I don't let them out of my sight, I'll be fi-

_**OOF!**_

I fell down on my knees, landing face down into the cold, hard dirt. "Ugh..." I muttered as I tried to push myself off the ground. Boy, that's a great start. I blinked twice, dumbfounded. Well, I guess you could say that I tripped on...

I looked behind me, staring at the trail that followed me, trying to find what I had tripped on. There were no rocks, no twigs or stray objects, and no ground holes. _Oh my fucking God, Kenny. You've done it again. Tripping and falling over nothing but thin air. How many times have you done this?_

Embarrassed, I stood up and looked around. _Man, I really have to stop doing this. I keep tripping over NOTHING but thin air. Yeah, it's a great talent, I know, but it's a really bad habit if you have it like me. It's like you're walking down a street on an ordinary day, and then all of a sudden- **BAM.** You fall to the ground like the world's going to drop on you and crush you to bits. But soon, you realize it was actually nothing at all. Nope. Nothing. One day I bet I'll get an award for falling on thin air so many times. I can see it now... Kenny McCormick, teenage boy who has fallen the most times._

I bit my lip and continued to run towards Craig. Right now, I was near the gate surrounding the school playground. Why the hell do they have a gate here? Aliens and stray animals get through the damn gate anyways. It's not going to protect us in any way at all, so why don't they just get rid of it? It's ugly, and I think some kids here might be a allergic to it now. If you look at it, it's all moldy and rusty. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the start of a new disease... Playground-gate-phobia. Yup. Let's all hope someones gonna find a cure for it sooner or later.

_I hope._

When I reached the gate, I jumped over it like it was nothing. _Pfft._ It wasn't even standing up anyway.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a **LITTLE** bit and I didn't jump over it that easily.

Well, maybe I didn't successfully jump over it...

Alright, alright, I didn't jump over the damn gate _at all._

But I still manged to get to the other side. You know why?

I crashed into it. Uh-huh. I ran **INTO** that wall of shitty metal barbs and made it fall over, but it wasn't the best thing you've ever felt in the world. That barbed wire stuff is really sharp, let me tell you that. And when I say sharp, I mean fucking **SHARP**. It cut me and scratched me on my arms, and it got stuck on my jacket. I tried to keep running, but I got stuck. Oh joy. Everyone wants to be stuck between a gate of rusted barbed wire, hm?_ The most wonderful feeling in the world!_

I pulled and tugged, and tried to hack away from the barbed shit that was stuck on me. Kicking it didn't seem to help, since the barbs just dug deeper into my skin. You would think I would get a thousand infections from these cuts. Naw, in fact, I don't even **HAVE** any diseases. I feel sorry for the people in the world who do, though. I even tried pulling it out, but it didn't work. Nope, it was stuck deep in my skin. I've heard of extreme body piercings but damn. If you saw me now, it'd be like seeing me taking a whole new level to acupuncture. And instead of medicated needles, I got fucking huge sharps pieces of dirty, rusted metal sticking out from me. The homeless guy's method for relaxation.

I tried one more thing, before I turned to the least appealing resolution to continue. I took a deep breath, and tried to jump out from the mess of tangled wires. _Damn..._ Didn't work either! When I jumped, the wires followed me and still stuck onto my sore body. The pain was more unbearable than cutting yourself with a butcher knife and pouring concentrated alcohol all over it after you're done. That's what the hardcore emos do to themselves when they get their 'personal time'. I guess I'm going to have to use the alternative way for continuing.

And that method isn't exactly going to allow me to take part of the gate off. I sighed and slug the backpack off from my sore back, and opened it. Digging around, I pulled out old school papers and empty cigarette boxes. Not that I smoke or anything. It's Craig and Stan. They're concerned about all this 'littering' shit and they want me to collect other people's drug containers lying around for environmentally helpful purposes. They are total tree huggers, but they don't admit it. Once at school, I almost got in trouble for leaving behind a trail of marijuana leaves because there was a hole in my backpack. Although there aren't very many harsh consequences that you face in South Park Elementary, it's best for everyone to try not to get in trouble. I threw the boxes and baggies aside, and found what I was looking for. That knife that Tweek had borrowed a week ago. I'm glad he gave it back today, because if I didn't then I wouldn't have thought of this crazy idea I'm about to do.

I held up the sharp knife and looked at it, seeing my reflection on the shiny side of the blade. I grinned and admired myself, making a few weird faces before I turned it away. Looking at it, I held it level to where my stomach was. I was planning to cut myself free.

No, I'm not going to fucking cut myself off of this gate. I'm going to cut the gate, and then move on. _Do you not get it? Heh. I don't expect you to._

I pressed the sharp knife onto the cold metal bars of the barbed gate and started to move it back and forth in a sawing motion. The deafening sound of metal screeching together was more painful than the piercing feeling of the metal spikes digging into my body.

After I was done, I stuffed to worn knife into my backpack and closed it, then slung it onto my back again_. This was going to be a long trip._

Let's just get to the point. I got out (not exactly...) because I decided to drag the whole damn part of the gate that was stuck on me around during my journey to where Craig was headed. _Yes, sir._ There's a whole segment of a barbed wire gate missing from around the school playground stuck on my back. I'm going to run all the way to that hill over there with this piece of shit on my back.

Am I bad-ass or what?

Oh, and yes. I accidentally cut into my back too. There's a small hunk of bloody flesh hanging out from my ribs. I'm a sight to see. I really am.

If anything worse happens, I'm going to look like Tweek sometime soon, and I don't want that to happen. Dear Jesus, don't let me get beat up and bloody like Tweek was. I know it's going to happen, but I don't want it to happen like this. No, not until this conflict between me and Craig is solved.

Say, where is Craig now, anyways? I asked that to myself more than twice already, but I don't know where the hell I'm supposed to go if I don't know where he is.

I slowed to a walk and stopped running so I could send him a text message. You know, digital messages with extremely incorrect English grammar and misspellings without punctuation and all that crap. It's wonderful, really. You just have to get used to it. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and started to type my message to him.

_'hey Craig were r u i need 2 tell u something'_ I pressed the enter button, and waited for a reply.

**BOINK**! My screen flashed and I saw a little box with an error message.

"Huh?" I looked at my screen, and it said 'Message was not successfully sent. Please try again.' Well, that could only mean one of two things.

Craig didn't have his phone with him. That error only shows up only if Craig left it somewhere not on him. He's really protective of his phone, even though he loses one every week or so. His family has a budget of buying $300 worth of cell phones for Craig every month. It's like he knows how to operate every cell phone imaginable.

The other reason I think Craig's phone had this error was because he blocked me, but that wasn't too likely. After all, we were talking like old friends just half an hour ago. Besides, I don't think Craig had any time to ignore me on his contact list. He's not that kind of person, I know.

I guess I'm going to have to try to look for him without any help or clues. It's like I'm a video game without having an instruction manual or tutorial tips, and I'm supposed to go and rescue... oh, I don't know, a princess or something? It's very hard! Possible, but more than**_ ASIAN difficult_**. I started jogging towards the hill where I last saw him.

Sigh. _This is going to be hard._

I kept running until I reached the hill where I had last seen Craig. He was the little blue blur and the top of the hill that I saw earlier. I stood at the top and took deep breaths. Boy, running can make me **REALLY** tired. Especially with this damn hot orange hood.

I looked around once more, and called out his name. "Craig!" I yelled out with all my breath in my lungs and waited for a reply. My voice echoed over and over again in the distance... But no reply. It wouldn't be reasonable to call out again, nor would it be smart to turn back. If I **DID** decide to turn back, who knows what would happen to me, let alone know what happens to Craig,

_Where the hell was he?_

Over the small, dry valley that stood before me, I couldn't see any signs of where he had gone. All I saw were dead willow trees and scattered pieces of trash everywhere. This place looked like a huge dump. In fact, this place looked more trashy and crappy than my own house. Any nothing is more trashier than my home.

There wasn't a trail for me to follow, was there? Pfft. A trail. Yeah, like that's going to be something for me to follow.

I walked onward, and started to call out his name again. "Craig! Dude, come back!"

Over and over again, I said his name until my throat got so sore, his name didn't seem to have any meaning to it anymore. _Craig... Craig... Craig..._ His name came out of my mouth like I was being forced to say it. I decided to stop, for now.

I held the orange strings that hung from my hoodie, and gently tugged on them. Usually I pull on them whenever I'm nervous or scared. Quietly, I walked on slowly, listening to the dead leaves crunching beneath my feet. I looked around, here and there, to see if Craig was anywhere in sight. To the left, trees. To the right, more trees. In front of me, a bigger and more broken tree. I've never seen so many trees here in South Park in one place. I've never seen any trees looking this saddening either. God, they hung so low, they seemed to be making an arch of branches, bowing down to me. The sky above me was dark and cloudy, like a storm was coming. Hell, this scene looked like a Disney Princess movie turned upside down. But, that's my life. A broken Disney Princess movie... mixed in a little with the movie Jackass. Oh yeah, that's my life right there.

Well, if a storm was coming, I should probably go home or else I could risk dying again. Ah, why should I worry about dying? It's going to happen sooner or later today. I just don't know when. Usually, I don't die this early in the day. I should be careful for any weird shit that'll happen to me here. In my entire life, I haven't yet survived a day without me dying. It's hard to live when you're me.

I looked at my wristwatch and saw that it was still early._ 8:45AM?_ Huh. Only 15 minutes had gone by. It felt like forever to me.

Maybe I should turn back now...-

"-Who's there?" I heard a voice say.

_Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!_

I pulled on my hoodie strings tightly and ran behind a large tree trunk. Ducking and hiding, I peeked out from around the tree and saw nobody. Just dead leaves and the eerie trees that bowed down to me. After I had hidden, the atmosphere was so quiet that it seemed more peaceful than a day at the beach in Seattle. Not that I've been there before or anything... In my mind, I heard that voice echo over and over again.

Was it just me that heard that? I don't think so! Someone was here. Someone heard me, and probably saw me. I shouldn't panic... It could be Craig. Maybe not, but it might be. Should I risk to check who it was?

I guess so. I've got nothing better to do right here in the middle of nowhere.

I shuffled my feet out from my sitting pose and released my hoodie strings. Looking around, I tried to search for the source of the voice that I had heard earlier. Searching through the mess of dead trees and garbage, I didn't see anyone, or anything out of the ordinary. No, nothing strange or peculiar.

I fully stood up and sighed. Yeah, I guess I'm safe, for now. It's never safe in here in South Park. There's always some alien activity or life-and-death situations. I feel like a mouse in a huge city right now. Lost, and in danger.

Dusting my pants, I smiled in relief and started to walk in one direction, on the search for Craig again. The crunching of leaves beneath my feet were the only sound that was heard. Other than that, I was as quiet as a mouse. And an awfully huge mouse.

Why am I comparing myself to a mouse?

Come to think of it, have you ever seen a mouse this large with an orange hoodie? My god, I never noticed how this stupid hood was so hot that it was slowing me down.

I pulled it over my head and tied it around my waist. The cold air stung my skin, but it felt better than being under a fucking hot orange coat. I walked around with a black t-shirt with a picture of a green alien head in the middle of it. Nobody could ever recognize me looking like this. Not very many of my friends have ever seen me without my orange hoodie on. Not even Butters -and we've had lots of sleepovers together.

Then, I heard a noise.

It was a loud ruffling noise, like there was something stirring around me. The sound came from somewhere behind me. I was about to turn around, until I saw a pair of dark eyes and I felt a strong hit to my face.

"Ow!" I yelled out and stumbled backwards, landing on my back. The gate that had been stuck in my back... Oh, you don't even know the pain! Who the hell would hit me in the face like that? I know I was probably invading someone else's property but damn, you didn't have to punch me straight in the face to tell me to go away. Scared, I tried to open my mouth to cuss whoever had hit me, but I felt too pained to speak. I felt my arms being held down, and I felt another hit to my face. Shit, that hurt like hell. Whoever had been punching me was pretty strong. Dizzy, I tried to open my eyes to see who it was. No, I couldn't see -damn bastard knocked me cold out on the third impact. Oh... My back!

I fluttered my eyes a few times before I could open them fully. I still felt cold, so I must be still outside. My face still hurt from the painful punches that were thrown at me. Finally, I opened my eyes.

"Ah... Craig?" I whispered. Oh, yeah. **FAT CHANCE IT WOULD BE CRAIG!**

I looked around and bit my lip nervously. It took me a few seconds to realize that there was nobody around me, and that I was alone. Wow. Am I retarded or what? How did I even... Never mind.

The ground was wet and damp, and there were worms crawling all over me. Uck! Yeah, there probably was a storm that passed by here while I was knocked out.

I also noticed that my back didn't have the gate sticking out of it anymore. What had happened? Did someone take it? Blah. Well, I'm glad it's out of my back. I'm surprised it didn't go all the way through my body and killed me while I was unconscious.

Well, the good news is, I'm still alive. I'm not dead! _Hallelujah..._

I pumped my fist in the air in cheer, and took a deep breath. My back felt sore, and my arm felt numb since I was laying on it while I was knocked out.

Come to think of it, how long **WAS** I unconcious? Surely it couldn't be more than 10 minutes. I raised my left arm and glanced at my wristwatch in horror. _My god._

"Holy shit... It's 3:25 PM already?" I grabbed a fistfull of my blonde hair in my right hand and tugged at it in agony. How the hell did I get knocked out for _7 hours?_

I cursed several times until my breath, and felt my cheeks grow hot in anger. It's been _7 hours... 7 hours... 7 hours... _That echoed in my head over and over, until my mind starting spinning.

_Okay Kenny, calm down. 7 hours in the middle of nowhere, alone, and unconcious. Boy, I do **NOT** want to know what happened during that time. God knows what was done to me while I was unconcious. Nothing much, I hope. But... what if someone came over here and saw me? What if it was a pedophile that knocked me out...? They could've kidnapped me, or worse! But luckily pedophiles usually don't pick lost teenage boys like me... do they? I hope not! Dear God, I hope not! Ah, what if I got an infection? Then I'll be in pain and sore and sick for the rest of my life! The insurance... My life... RUINED! I'll never be the same aga-_

I slapped myself before I got too deep into my thoughts. _Dammit Kenny, calm the fuck down!_

I let out a large amount of air from my lungs and stood up on my sore feet. Knocking the wet and slimy earthworms off of me, I observed my surroundings once again. You can never be too safe. I saw that the sky didn't clear up, and I don't think it's safe to be out here any longer. 7 hours was enough, don't you think? I have to get out of here -fast.

I started off in a random direction and started to walk, dragging my feet through the ocean of dead leaves and tree branches. There was a trail of muddy footprints that left behind a path that showed I was here. _Footprints..._

Glancing down at the ground in front of me, I noticed that there was another pair of footprints that stood before me. They were in an unsteady pattern, like someone was running one moment, then walking slowly the next. The trail was crooked, like whoever left behind the tracks was stumbling here and there. If they weren't careful, I bet they'd crash into a nearby tree or something. I decided to follow the tracks. It wouldn't hurt to go find out who or what had left them, right? No harm in that...

I started to walk faster, with my hands in my jean pockets and toungue sticking out in boredom. I stick out my toungue whenever I'm bored. The taste of boredom isn't that bad, actually.

The cold, crisp air filled my lungs and I breathed lightly. My eyes were alert, yet I felt the tingling sensation to just shut them, and not open them again for the rest of the day. I tried very hard not to shut them, or else I risked being unconcious again.. No, that would be leaves were crunching underneath my feet, and every once in a while I would accidently step on a worm that would be standing in my way. It left a squishy and wet blue spot on the bottom of my black shoes. _Yuck..._ That's not going to be fun to clean.

The trail was getting shorter and shorter, and I felt the desire to go faster so I could reach the end of the trail. Although, I sort of wished it would go on forever, so I wouldn't have to stop. It's fun tracking down a pair of unknown footprints out of curiousity. I should do this more often... Maybe with Kyle or something. He likes being outdoors with his friends, like me. Never had I ever been interested in walking around in the middle or nowhere. I mean, who would?

I kept walking on and on, and turned at an awfully large tree. I kept going and heard a distant roaring sound, like rushing water, or the noise of Cartman's mom taking a piss. It's loud.

Then, there it was. The end to the trail. It was...

A _river._

Yes sir, it was a river. A damn huge river, to be exact. The trail of footprints stopped at the edge, which meant that whoever made the tracks had crossed the river. Or they had fallen in.

But how? It was too wide to be crossed by walking! It looked deep, too. There was even this huge tree sticking out of the middle of the river downstream with this blue hat hanging from it. Boy, that is **NOT** how you decorate things around here. Well, I guess anything can be decorated with a blue hat with tassels...

I felt my eyes grower a little wider in surprise. _Blue hat. Tassels. Craig's hat?_

Without thinking, I started to run over to where I saw the blue blob of fabric. I stumbled on the riverbank, dangerously close to falling in. My hair flailed in the wind as I ran towards the tree. I felt like this was just a dream. That this didn't really happen at all, so I didn't pay that much attention or effort to what I was doing.

And guess what happened? As soon as I got there, I looked at the tree, aimed, and jumped towards the tree.

What the hell was wrong with me... The tree was like, a million miles away from the riverbank (it was actually just 5 meters away, but you get my point) and I actually thought I could jump to there. I'm just flying through the air. Next stop, drowning deep in the river. I wish I could just use some wings...

Well, if I had wings, I could make it. And I do have wings, but I can't use them.

_Did I ever tell you the story about my wings? I have these dark, purple wings that expand from my back whenever I'm about to die. It's like... a sign that shows that my death is coming. Although I meet my death every single day, I never get to do much with my wings. I can't fly with them when I want to. They're just... there. Big, huge, fucking epic purple wings, and I can't use them to fly. Crazy story, huh? The bad thing is, only I can see them. My friends, or people around me witnessing my death can't see them. Nope, just red and bloody murder and the results of my death. Sometimes, they don't even see me at all. It's like I'm an invisible person to them whenever it comes to death. So, to sum it all up, whenever I'm about to die I have purple wings extend from my back and then I die several moments later. Then, I come back to life, in my bed the next day. Foophee._

So yes, flying through the air. Unable to turn direction and go back. What the hell was I thinking...?

I didn't really care now. I just wanted to get that hat. That pretty little blue HAT that looked an awful lot like Craig's hat which he wore everyday. Right now, I was close to landing, but I didn't know where. It was foggy near this river. I didn't notice that fog was here until I was flying through the air over here. Strange things happen in South Park...

I shut my eyes and waited for the result of me. Either I was going to die and drown, or die and crash into a tree.

Or maybe it was the other way around.

Or,_ none of the options_ above.

"Kenny!" I heard a familiar voice, and felt a pair of warm arms catch me in the air. The air suddenly smelled like caffine, and I could feel little sharp things poking me.  
>Whoevers arms those were embracing me from my fall, they didn't feel that strong. The mysterious person that whoever was holding me was weak, so I landed in this someone's arms and fell on top of them, knocking them down. Whoever was holding me had a tight grip though. Not very strong, but tight.<p>

I didn't feel secure until I heard my name being said again. _How did they know my name?_

"K-Kenny?" I heard the familar and shaky voice say again. I felt the hot breath of the person against my neck, and my heart started beating hard. Not that I was getting horny off of this or anything... **Hell no.**

I flinched as a hand started to wrap around my left wrist. I pulled away and stepped back, forgetting the fact that I was dangerously close to falling in the river. It's like I didn't give a crap about drowning in a river. My eyes were still closed, so I didn't see who had saved me. I wanted to thank them, and question them about how they knew my name. Perhaps it was someone that I knew.

"Thank you... Stranger." I managed to speak softly and open my eyes to see who it was. I couldn't see very well, since it was dark. This tree in the middle of the river was pretty dark. In fact, I think it's darker than the night sky here in South Park- and nothing's darker than our skies and night.

I heard a shuffling noise, and a gleaming pair of hazel eyes come out from the pitch-black darkness, and it started heading towards me. I started to panic. What was I supposed to do?

As the mysterious figure got closer and closer to me, I could see more of what they looked like. I saw that it was a guy, and he looked familiar. I'm not 100% sure exactly who it was. Probably someone that lived around my neighborhood... or someone that went to my school. He also had messy blonde hair like I did, and bright eyes.

He kept inching closer, and I started to feel uncomfortable. I turned away from him and brought my knees up the my face, curling into a ball. He stopped moving towards me and I heard him whine in confusion.

"Oh... I'm n-not going to h-hurt you, Kenny." His voice softly spoke. He sounded... girly. Maybe it wasn't a guy, and it was a girl who **LOOKED** like a guy. I _hate_ those types of people... "I j-just want to g-go home." His voice started to crack in the middle of his sentence. I felt a little bit sorry for whoever this was.

Okay, let me gather all this information and process it through my head. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, stuttering and girly voice. Seems like someone I know.

I lifted my head and looked at the mysterious person again. He was small and skinny, like me. I opened my mouth to speak and uttered a name. "Butters...?"

I waited for an answer. The other person whined in question, like a dog would. "I-I..." He stuttered and I saw him bite his nails. "No... I'm n-not..." I heard him say. He smelled an awful like coffee...

_Oh! I got it!_

I turned my head a little more to face him again. "Tweek?" I tried again.

Then, I saw his eyes light up in some emotion I couldn't describe. And you know what he did? He leaned towards me and hugged me unexpectedly. Oh, that sicko...!

I also heard him giggle in happiness and felt his little heart pounding in his chest against mine. _My god, was he that close to me right now?_

**Gay. Gay. Gay. Homo. Fag. Gay. Fag. Homo.**

I shivered and tried to pry him lose. Boy, this dude had some gripping abilities. He held onto me like a cat would when it's stuck in a tree. I felt his warm arms embrace me, wrapped around my neck and back. I was getting_ really **REALLY** _uncomfortable. I tried prying him off again, but he just held on tighter. _Tweek, you're starting to piss me off...!_

After a few seconds, I decided to give up on trying to get him off of me. I mean, there's nobody else here to witness this, right? And even if there was, I'd kill them before they'd be able to tell anyone else. They'd probably think that I was gay or something (which I'm not. I'm just... pansexual.) and then they'd tell the whole world. Actually, I think the whole entire world already knows my secret anyways, although they never tease me. Cartman never picked on me for being like this, cause I don't think he knows about me.

Anyways, if you can't beat em, _join em._

I rolled my eyes and pulled out my arms from his death-tightening hold and held him against me. He felt kind of cold now...

I heard him sign in what sounded like frustration and loosened his grip. What was that all about...? I hug him back, and he starts to loosen his hold on me. Maybe if I hug him harder, he'll eventually let go. _Nah, bad idea._  
>The darkness of the inside of the tree seemed even more dark, and I felt cold again. I ignored the little whispers that he was saying. He was probably muttering to himself. I tilted my head to the side and tried to listen to what he was mumbling about. I got to hear a few words.<p>

"I-I'm safe... here... with _him_... and I'll be able... to g-go home... _Kenny_..." He breathed out in that weird little shaky way of his. When I heard him utter my name, I felt like I wanted to puke out all my internal organs and kill myself. Hearing someone I don't like saying my name makes me feel weird. I'm not really sure why.

Well, since his hold on me loosened, why not push him away from me? Finally, I can get him off of me. I felt like screaming when I didn't think of pushing him away from me earlier.

I stopped hugging him back and placed my hand on his shoulder, trying to push him back away. It didn't work. He just got closer to me. I made a weird and disturbed face and froze in fear.

Right now, we were in an awkward position where our shoulders were almost touching, and _his...-_ was rubbing against _mine..._

I wanted to scream. Not in pain or anything, but in **HORROR**. Complete, disgusting, horror! Never have I ever been so close to someone, let alone it be a guy! Especially Tweek! Gross... I don't want to appear to be gay in front of him. Not that I have a problem with gays, or anything! It's just... I don't like the thought of Tweek being gay. He can't even get a** GIRL**! What makes him think he can get a _guy_? Who even told him about the option of being _gay...?_ **GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!** I twitched a little bit at the thought of him and me... like this. Well, this was happening already. What could be worse?

_Dammit Kenny! You do not wonder what worse possibilities could happen at times like this! Will you never learn?_

I tried once more to push him away from me before anything worse could happen. It would be best if I was like, **AWAY** from this _coffee freako_. _Very, very _far away. I concluded in my head that most of the weight of him was resting on my legs, so I tried pushing him away by holding his hips and moving them away. I'm going to do that.

I placed my glove-covered hands on his waist and I heard him gasp quietly. _No, Tweek. Don't get the wrong idea. Please, dear God, do not **LET** him get the wrong idea_. I started to push him away, and he gasped again, only louder. Then it was silent.

He startled me, and I forgot which direction I was supposed to be moving him, and uh I started to panic, so I wanted to get him off me **QUICKLY**, and I wasn't thinking and... I pulled him... Towards me. Around that... _area._

I bit my lip in anger, and waited for Tweek to get a reaction. I let go of his waist and tried to move him off me again.

"Ngh... _Yes..._" I heard him say. **NO. TWEEK. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.**

I opened my mouth to speak, but I was too scared and nervous to think anymore. What if I said something that sounded wrong in front of him? No, I couldn't risk that. I just left my mouth hanging open, and I felt my heart trying to jump out of throat. My ears turned hot and I felt my brain just melt into soup. _Tomato. Soup_.

Fianlly, I felt like I was forced to say something, before Tweek got even more into the wrong idea and started doing freaky things that I would never expect to happen. "Wha... What was that?"

I felt Tweek move away from me a little bit. "Uh... I mean uh..." I could tell he was embarassed. _Yeah, you should be!_ "Y-yes... My name is Tweek." He scooted away from me a little bit more. I felt relieved.

I gave him a wry smile and sat on my knees. "So.. What was that about you getting home?" Tweek had mentioned something about me and him going home earlier. Just what was that about?

He gave me a look that I couldn't describe, and he buried his head in my chest again. This time, he started crying. "Oh, Kenny! It's horrible! Craig... Craig isn't... H-he..." He started to babble undecipherable words and I tried to calm him down. _Dammit, Kenny. He's all over you again._

"Dude, chill. Just calm down and explain to me again." I tried comforting him, but he just kept crying. My shirt was starting to feel wet and damp. What had happened?

"Craig... D-di... couldn't... and the glass and the needles and the piranhas..." He started to break down again. Boy, it felt like he was trynig to describe a horror movie to me. Glass? Needles? Piranhas?

"Alright, alright, get to the point already. Yeesh." I rolled my eyes again and patted his head.

"No..." He cried and clinged onto me like he was a monkey. _God, what is wrong with him?_

"I want to know what happened. Please, dammit Tweek, tell me what happened." My voice has a bit of anger and impatience in it. I don't think I convinced Tweek to tell me just yet. He doesn't usually hear people cuss whenever they try to talk to him."If you don't, we can't go home." I bet those last few words were enough to convince him.

I waited for him to say something, but he still continued to sob and cry onto my shirt. Honestly, I would've perferred to just drown in the river rather than be here dealing with this kid right now. I want to just go and get the hell out of here, not look like a _gay fag._

Hugging Tweek to try and comfort him, I rubbed his back and wiped away the tears from his face. I felt impatient, but hey, I've got all the time in the world.

I held him closer to me, and breathed slowly so that I wouldn't startle him with my sudden heartbeats. He's really twitchy and shaky, but right now he wasn't acting like a human jackhammer right now. No, he was very quiet and still. He didn't seem normal.

Holding his shoulders, I pushed him away from me once again and looked him in the eye. "Seriously, Tweek. Why won't you tell me what happened?" Tweek just shook his head and looked away. I just pulled him closer. "What in the world will it take you to tell me?" I gave him a crooked smile and let go.

"Well..." He started to whisper. "I... I want to go home."

I looked at him and blinked. "Home?" I scratched my head. _"How?"_

Tweek looked at me sheepishly and stopped hugging me. He rubbed his hand against his arm. "Uh.. I was wondering if y-you could carry me, Kenny..."

I blinked at him again, and gave him a small smile and stood up. _Bad idea_.

**BONK!** I hit my head on the top of the tree and stumbled backwards, falling. I felt something poke at the back of my shirt, and realized there was something coming out of my back.

_Agh. My wings again._ Everytime my wings extend, it means that my death of the day is near. Haha. Death of the day... Usually when I get my wings popping out of my back, there's almost immediate death, but this time was different. Tweek had grabbed me before I had fallen into the river. He pulled me back and I landed on my feet again. He stumbled back onto the ground and rubbed his eyes.

I... I can't beleive it. He saved my life **TWICE**! But, why? Why had he saved me, when I had almost let him die earlier?

"Thank you, Tweek..." I didn't know what else to say. I glanced at him again, and he looked like he understood.

"You're welcome." Wow. That was the first time I ever heard him say anything without stuttering or stressing a word, then trailing off. _Kudos to you, Tweekers._

I decided to reconsider about taking Tweek home. Perhaps I could just fly him home. He's done some favors for me today, and I should return the favor. Wait... Why should I? I don't think we need Tweek anymore. He's not worth saving, is he? After all, less people in South Park, the less we have to worry about others. Besides, maybe his parents can adopt me when Tweek's dead. They seem like a rich family and all, owning a coffee shop in the middle of South Park. Yeah, that would be nice.

Maybe I should spare his life and bring him home, just cause I feel like it. "Now, are you sure you want me to bring you back home?" I asked. I planned to fly home, and drop him off at his house, and then I would return home.

He nodded his head and looked at me.

"Sure?" I questioned him once more.

He nodded again.

I smiled. "Promise me you'll tell me what happened after I bring you home."

He nodded his head quickly, like he just wanted me to take him home now and not deal with all my questions.

Laughing, I held out my hand. "Pinky promise. C'mon."

He trembled as he reached for my hand, and we shook. Barely.

Faster than you could ever imagine, I grabbed Tweek by the waist and held him between my arms, and jumped out towards the river. Tweek just clung onto me, and said nothing. Not even asking how I could fly. He reacted to my flying like it was a normal occurence to him. God... He needs to lay off the coffee.

Below me, there was the roaring, clear river that I had almost drowned in. Above me was the dark and cloudy grey skies, and behind me was that tree where Tweek had saved me. Twice. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

I fully extended my purple wings and took off into the air, struggling at first, since it was the first time I ever tried flying with my wings. My air was also thin, so it was harder for me to get air beneath my wings. I mentioned earlier that I barely got to ever fly with these epic wings. Now, I can, thanks to Tweek.

I almost hit the water, until I gave one powerful wingstroke and shot up into the air- high into the air.

I started to laugh and panic at the same time. It's fun flying now and everything, but I had no fucking idea how to control my flight. It's like I'm a helpless little bird (_which I'm not_) flying for thr first time. Either you suceed, or you die. Either way, you get to fly for a while.

Although, I'm sort of scared of dropping Tweek. I mean, if I drop him, he's most likely going to turn into a zombie, because of all that coffee. He'll die, then he'll somehow turn back to life because that coffee he's been drinking will keep him alive. How does he even sleep at night? If you were someone who drank **THAT** much coffee, you would never grow tired.

As I soared through the cold air, I found myself going in random directions, and not knowing where to go. Perhaps I should just fly closer to the ground, and follow my footprints that were still freshly marked on the ground.

I halted in the air, and stopped flapping my wings. I started to float downwards to the damp ground. Carefully, I landed softly on my feet and started to fly again, only this time, at a slower pace. I flew low and slowly, quietly brushing my wings against the dead tree branches and thorny shrubs that scattered around me.

When I finally reached the school playground gate, I flew higher into the air and flew faster, since there was more open space. Flying over the school, I just wanted to burn it down. I have a good working lighter in my pocket _(for more than just drugs, okay?)_ and I would be more than happy to drop it onto the empty school and burn it all down.

**CRAP! I just remembered!**

_The school... We had... A substitute teacher, and I missed out a whole day! AGGHH! Never would I ever miss a day with a substitute teacher at school! _**NEVER!**

Oh, well. _I guess life isn't that fair, hmm?_

I sighed and kept flying until I passed the center of South Park, then passed over my neighborhood, then Stan's... Then Token's...

Finally, I reached the neighborhood that Tweek lived in. I hovered in the air for several seconds to check of Tweek was aware that we were here. "Tweek, we're home." I said proudly.

I heard something roaring loudly in the air, like an airplane or something. Naw, they don't have very many airplanes in South Park. I looked around, and saw nothing. just something in the distance.

It looked like a bird. _Harmless_. I shouldn't worry about it then.

"Tweek, would you like me to set you down now?" I asked.

I heard Tweek yawn, then laugh. "Well, y-yeah. You weren't thinking a-about dropping me off l-like this, right?" Well, maybe I would drop him off like this, flying in mid-air.

"Well, let's get you back to your hou-"

-**HURK**!

Something was pulling at my orange hoodie, and I started choking. I let go of Tweek abruptly and dropped him on accident and tried to free myself from the choking feeling. I watched as he spiraled downwards in dispair. What was choking me? I could see Tweek falling down, screaming my name. "Kenny!" After several seconds, I couldn't hear him anymore. In fact, I couldn't breathe.

I started kicking the air, and flapping my wings but it only made it worse. My throat felt like it would just slit, and my head would fall off any second now. _Pain... So much pain_... But I was used to it. After all, I knew I would just come back to life the next day. Nobody would worry about me or anything, because they don't remember my deaths. It just turns back to normal the next morning.

I gave up trying to break free, and just stayed still. Waiting for death to come, again. Surely it'll be swift and quick. I don't like to suffer a long, painful death.

Still, and quiet. Although, I heard this very awkward and loud roaring noise from behind me. A giant bird? Maybe. Although I didn't feel anything feathery behind me. It felt... Metallic.

Perhaps it was an airplane... Or a hellicopter that must've flown by me and accidently hooked me. I tried to turn my head to see what it was... And that was a super bad idea. But, I guess it wasn't all that bad.

As I turned my head to my right, slowly and carelessly, the grapple that was wrapped around my neck choking me sliced my neck, and pierced through all the way. I guess you could say my head was disconnected from the rest of my body. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I coughed up dark, red blood. Well, that's the end of me for today!

_Kenny's head dettached from the rest of his body, and blood poured like rain from his body that still remained on the flying aircraft, taking away his body and flying away. As his head fell from the sky, Tweek however, had landed on the ground. Safely, but in a fashion that was very uncomfortable. He had been dropped abruptly and was on some person's rooftop. Tweek had been surprised at the sudden fall, and was trying to figure out how he had survived such a fall. Only someone who had major luck would have been able to live the fall. He was sure to tell about it when he got the chance._

_But for now, Tweek had to get home. Being on some person's rooftop for a long period of time wouldn't be very fun._

**And... This is the end of chapter three! So, Kenny dies once more, and Tweek gets stuck on some dude's roof. This isn't the end, but I'm leaving some details left for some people to wonder. What happened to Craig? Why had Tweek mentioned pirahas? WHOSE ROOF DID HE LAND ON!**

**Oh, and sorry for that little disturbing moment. I was watching this... yaoi montage on Youtube and I kind of got a little TOO into it. -_-'**

Please** PLEASE Leave reviews! I want to know what you think, so that I can be inspired enough to make another chapter!**

**Again, thanks to everyone who has read this so far. It's not very interesting to some, I know. Sorry. **


	4. Snakes, you say?

**It's been a very long time since I updated on this story. Not very many people have been reading, so I've been on hiatus for quite a while. I'm trying to make sure that the rest of this story makes sense, rather than going back in time and switching character points of view.**

**I warn you there's some stronger language in here that's more extreme than used before.**

**TWEEK'S POV**

"What the FUCK do you think you're doing?"

I turned around and saw some one's angry face glaring at me from the ground. Dazed, I gave a confused whine and wiped my eyes.

A green hat with matching green eyes looked at me. I looked back.

The person who had screamed at me looked in confusion, and yelled something. "Tweek, seriously dude! What the fuck?" I saw a boy that was probably my age with ruffled orange-brown hair and an orange jacket.

"K-Kyle?" It looked awfully like Kyle, as from up here on the roof. "What are you doing away from school?"

"No-no-no-no-no, what are YOU doing on my roof?"

Turning my head, I saw that I was on top of Kyle's house near the ceiling window that his house had, and I was sitting right on it. Awkward view they must have seen.

"I... I can explain, Kyle." I scratched my head, trying to trigger my memory again to see if I could remember anything. "Kenny brought me over here and dropped me off at your house. I suppose he didn't know where my home was and accidentally left me here. Not really s-sure where he went though." I said that monotone-like and didn't feel like slightest bit confused or scared.

Kyle shot me a weird look. "And you interrupted my video game with Stan just to do this? Yeah, right." He laughed sarcastically and said, "Oh, and by the way- pretty much _everyone_ in the 6th grade ran away after some gay fire drill at school. The teachers didn't see us, and we decided to have the rest of the day off at home." Kyle pointed into his parent's window. "My parents aren't home, so most of the guys are hanging out at my house."

I nodded and looked inside the window with juice splattered on the glass. Half of my class was in there, talking and running around like idiots. I could see Stan and Token making Butters chug down a lot of Pepsi, while Pip and Kevin just sat on the couch and watched. The lights were off, and there was only the television and the lights of phone screens. Other than that, you could see pretty well in there despite the fact that there were no lights. I could also see some people walking around stumbling and bumping into things.

I think that after all of this, Kyle's gonna get in trouble. I mean- a huge mess and a bunch of teenagers under one roof is_ not_ good. "_And... I'm on the roof..."_ I muttered to myself, trying not to let Kyle hear me.

He did.

"Yeah. I guess you meant to go into my house? I'm not sure why anyone would want you to join, but hey, I guess you could just hang around to get in trouble like the rest of us. Other than that, I got free drinks inside." Kyle stretched his arms and scratched his back. "We've been here for a few hours. Did anyone tell you about this yet other than me?"

I nodded. Nobody told me that the 6th grade ran away from school. I ran away first, or so Craig carried me away.

"CRAIG!" I shouted abruptly. My eye twitched and I tried to stand up, but I tripped on a rock and fell.

I tumbled down the sloped roof and landed on the ground on my back. Kyle ran over to me and tried to get me up. "Well, I guess Craig would be the first one to ask you, but he's not here. In fact, Craig isn't here or Kenny. Thank Jesus Cartman isn't..."

I heard him gasp and loosen his grip on me. "Dude!"

What was wrong? _Did I do something wrong?_ I hope I didn't break anything! "What? What is it?"

He stared at my body and then at my face. "You're covered in blood and dirt! The fuck did you do? Oh... eww! You got some on me! Man, that is a freaking _huge_ cut on your leg..."

Kyle finally stopped saying how horrible my condition was and kept saying, _"Oh, fuck dude..."_ over and over and walked me to the back door. He chose not to choose the front door because it would attract some attention.

I asked, "What are you doing?"

"We gotta hide you somewhere, you can't look like this in front of everyone. They'll get... suspicious."

Being hidden was the second to last thing I wanted to do. I can't hide forever! But, I decided to keep quiet, in case Kyle were to change his mind.

Maybe he had other plans.

A few moments later we were at a sliding glass door with curtains that looked very old and dirty. Kyle opened the door and stepped inside, and I followed. He had an awfully nice house, to be honest. It smelled like the conditioner that my mom uses, and it was dark and unlit like the other room. This room didn't have anyone else in it except for Kyle and I.

All of a sudden, I heard a wail like a crying baby.

Kyle sighed and cursed under his breath. "Ike is awake again. Hang on." He pointed to a very welcome-looking couch and told me to sit and wait till he came back.

"Thanks K-Kyle, I owe you one." I sat on the couch and laid down. There was a blanket on the side of the couch and I covered myself with it without caring about the blood stains and dirt that bled into the cloth. I don't think it would be that hard to wash that stuff off. After all, with the guys in the other room ruining the house Kyle's parents wouldn't notice blood on the couch. They would mistaken it for some punch or an old red washable marker.

Not long, I fell fast asleep on the soft couch and snored softly. I was curled up in a ball because I didn't want to take up all of the couch. I'm not sure why.

_"Tweek, you killed me. You killed us both."_

A strange and melancholy voice rose from somewhere. I didn't know who said that because it was too dark to see anything _(or I had my eyes shut)._ I opened my eyes and saw...

"Kyle? Is that you?"

The voice spoke again and the shadowy figure moved closer. "Why would you think that I'm Kyle?"

Confused, I squinted my eyes to try and make out who it was. My eyes had adjusted to the dark room and I thought that I could see whoever it was by now. I could see the couch I was sitting on, and the coffee table that was to my side with a lamp on the top, and old blue curtains by a closed door.

"I..." Pausing, I thought about what the voice said earlier. I had killed him? No, I killed two people. The word "both" meant it was plural. But, I didn't kill anyone, did I? "I believe this is Kyle's house, so you must be Kyle?"

The figure stood still and didn't say anything. I felt uncomfortable.

"Stop t-trying to scare me. I don't like it, Kyle." His name rung in my head. _Kyle... Kyle... Kyle..._

The mysterious figure still didn't say anything, but something that looked like a knife appeared to be floating in the air. No wait, the person was holding a knife. It was coming towards me?

"Kyle, stop! It's me-Tweek!" I tried to convince whoever was holding the knife not to hurt me, but the knife kept coming closer and closer. I still couldn't see who the person was! My thoughts of the person being Kyle started to dim. Maybe it was one of the guys in the other room that found me here and I did something wrong.

_"Tweek, why did you kill me? Why couldn't you sacrifice yourself?"_ The voice started to say.

I started to panic.

Looking around, I tried to find something that would protect me. Something like a pillow or a hard cover book, but I didn't see anything that would help me. There was nothing I could see anymore but the knife. The couch wasn't visible anymore, but I knew I was still sitting on it. The coffee table with the nice lamp was gone, and the curtains were nothing.

Kyle really needed to stop this trick. "Okay, you got me. Haha, funny trick. You can stop now...!"

It didn't stop. I felt the sharp, cold blade of the knife touch my neck.

"Kyle! Kyle! KYLE! STOP!"

"Hey, calm the hell down, Tweek." I heard a familiar voice, and felt arms around my body. Something cold and metallic was on my neck, and it was wet.

**"NO! DON'T HURT ME! KYLE, STOP!"** I screamed out, trying to pry the cold object away from my neck. When it got off my neck, it stung with a numbing sensation.

I shot my eyes open and saw Kyle with something shiny in his hand. So it was Kyle that tried to kill with with a knife- _how dare he_! My arms shot up to shield my face. "Help!"

"Oh God, what are you talking about? I'm not hurting you! I'm trying to-"

"Murderer! MURDERER!"

Kyle sighed and backed away. "Tweek, what the hell is your problem? You probably had a bad dream or something."

I stopped. "Explain the knife!"

"Knife, fuck no. I don't have a knife anywhere on me, let alone in this room. We barely even have knives in the kitchen. Our family doesn't eat that much meat." Kyle switched on the lights. My eyes burned.

As I looked at Kyle, he was in normal clothes. A white T-shirt with long jeans and gloves that had paw prints on the back. On the coffee table, there was that lamp with with a first aid kit next to it. Kyle had something metallic and shiny in his hand alright-

But it wasn't a knife.

"Oh... never mind. It was just an icepack." I'm guessing that the wet stuff on my neck wasn't leaking blood, but melted ice. My face flushed with embarrassment.

"Yeah, of course. I'm trying to fix you up and you blame me for being a murderer." Kyle rolled his eyes and switched the lights off. "Well fine, be that way. I'm going out to join the party. You can medically fix yourself without my help. I'm done with this shit."

Say what?

I looked down and saw that the blanket was really bloody and dirty, but I was clean like I normally am. On my legs, there were large bandages and some sort of healing lotion applied to all of my cuts and wounds. My clothes were changed (I don't even wanna know how the heck he did that without me noticing) into a lavender smelling green shirt with a dinosaur, and I had sweatpants on. My arms were bandaged and heavy with the smell of rubbing alcohol and mint-scented pain relieving strips. My hair was wet and smelled like peaches, but it was clean and was brushed out. My face felt smooth and it had lots of lotion on it. My neck was wrapped with a heated towel and there was another ice pack on the back of my neck.

Kyle did all of this... For me? I knew for a fact that if Stan was hurt like I was, Kyle wouldn't try to repair the wounds and cuts like he did to me.

I don't think I needed to be fixed anymore. He's done enough. I thought... Without all of this I would've been dead.

I whispered. "Thank you, Kyle."

Somewhere in the other room, I'm sure that I heard a very faint _"Fuck you, Tweek"._

But, it wasn't Kyle that said that. It sounded like someone else. Someone that was familiar, and I guess it was somebody from school. And it wasn't all that faint. It just sounded faint because whoever said it didn't want anyone else around to hear.

_Great, just what I needed. A surprise guest_.

"Who..." I started to say, but then I was interrupted.

"Are you trying to steal my best friend? What the hell are you doing here, Tweek?"

It sounded like Clyde. Because it was still dark, I didn't have the slightest clue whether or not I was right or wrong. As I tried to ask earlier who it was, the person interrupted me. It was a guy, and it was someone Kyle knew. He said he was his best friend...

"Token?"

The person turned the lights on and I could clearly see who it was. He wore a black T-shirt with a picture of some graffiti word and a blue and red hat in one hand. He had dark blue pants and had green socks on with tiger stripes. I tried not to laugh.

"No, I'm Stan. How the fuck did you think I was Token?" He raised his arms and crossed them in front of his chest. "God, you're stupid. Token and I look nothing alike."

I laughed nervously, hoping that Stan had told something funny and expected me to laugh.

"It's not funny. You're not funny." Stan walked closer to me and looked closely at me. "Oh... Jesus Christ..."

Stan observed me from the top of my neatly brushed hair _(thanks to Kyle)_ to the bandaged parts of my feet. His face turned an un-human like shade of pale white, and I could hear his heart beating.

"Tweek, I am SO sorry. I-I didn't know- from back there it looked like you were... Oh, Jesus. Dude, I am really really sorry, I mean it. I'll go now if you like, or if you want something you can ask me." Stan started to apologize so many times I didn't know when he was going to stop, until I heard those last few words. If I wanted something I could ask him. Well...

"It's f-fine, Stan. Just one thing, if it wouldn't bother you so much." I tried to talk formally, so he could understand that I was serious. Of course, he always took everything seriously so it wasn't that hard. "I uh, I assume that you know Craig won the cemetery thingy and Cartman lost, but to get to the point- have you seen them today?"

Stan looked like he was thinking, then said, "Well, Craig was on the bus this morning if I can remember. This morning at the bus stop me and Kyle were celebrating about the fact that the fat-ass wasn't here. So yeah, I saw Craig, but no sign of Cartman thank God."

"Do you know where they are now?" I asked. Surely he would answer most of the questions I would ask as long as I looked hurt and worn down. I tried to keep myself from looking alert and attentive, to make Stan repeat things that were necessary.

"Uh... No. I didn't get to see Craig in class today. I seriously don't give a fuck about where Cartman is. Besides, I haven't seen him since we were at the cemetery. Craig told me that Cartman and you along with him and Kenny were the ones that were left after everyone else went home." Stan stopped for a moment to check his phone because someone texted him.

"Huh...? Kyle?" Stan muttered to himself and started to press buttons on the screen to send back a text message. "Hey, Tweek, I gotta go. Kyle needs to talk to me in person for a second."

I wasn't satisfied with what he had told me so far. I wanted to question him some more, but I was afraid he's get suspicious and get pissed off. Maybe I should stay in this nice, soft couch and go to sleep some more. I feel a whole lot better thanks to Kyle. Later I should take him out for some coffee or something to thank him.

Stan was about to walk out the door leading into the other room when he got another text message. He looked at it, then looked at me, then looked back at the screen again. Stan texted something back to Kyle and looked at me once more.

"Hey, Tweekers?" Stan said to me. "Can you walk, or stand or something?"

I gave him a quick confused look, then tried to get up. My bandaged foot touched the cool tile floor and I stood on both of my feet quickly. Kind of hard to balance though when you have 5 layers of bandages on your swollen feet. "Yeah, I can stand."

I took a step forwards, then another, then another. "I guess I can walk too."

Stan immediately pressed some buttons on his phone and there was a loud dial tone. He walked over to me. "Kyle wants to talk to you for a second."

"H-hello?"

"Hey, Tweek. Let's see, I'm really not sure why the hell I wanted to talk to you but I was walking down the street with the guys to go draw some graffiti on the school grounds, and I heard Cartman screaming out your name." Kyle coughed and spoke to someone that was around him and passed to phone to someone else.

"Hello? Tweek, right?" It wasn't Kyle's voice anymore, but it sounded like Clyde's or Kevin's.

"Y-yes. What is it?"

"We're right next to one of the outside fields of the cemetery cause the paint store is right by there, and we see Cartman on the ground with a snake wrapped around his legs and arms and he's calling out your name. He's really having a fit right now, and I don't know what to- what? He's throwing... Snakes. Yeah, right. Wait, _snakes_? Sna- OH GOD!"

The line went dead.

Stan gave me a really scared look. "You think we should go see what's going on?"

"Yes. I think w-we should. You know where they're at, right?"

"Of course. Right down the street over there towards my house. Shouldn't take too long."

I was about to walk out the back door when Stan stopped me. "Whoa, wait a minute. If you're gonna go out in public you can't look like that. Here-" He threw me his long-sleeved jacket and motioned for me to wear it. "Oh and-" He ruffled up my hair and looked at me. "There, you look almost normal again."

"So... We can go now?" I asked.

He was out the door already. "Pfft, yeah. You except me to hold you hand or something?"

I ran after him, leaving behind a trail of bandages that were probably really cheap and that bloody, dirty blanket that I made on the ground. Kyle better come home before his parents do.

**End of the chapter.**

**I'm not sure if this was a good one or not. Not a lot of action like the other chapters did, but I wanted this one to be shorter. Longer chapters take longer to write, and to read.**

**Chapter 5 will be added hopefully by May or June. Let's hope it stays good.**


	5. Gay Princess

**This is a short chapter. Sorry about that. I just thought it would be reasonable to put a shorter one in here as a little break because the chapter's in the past have been so long.**

**STAN'S POV**

You know, there are 3 types of people in the world.

People who help others. People who demand help. People who don't help.

I think I'm a little bit of each type.

On the other hand, I only help people who help me. That rule _doesn't_ apply to Cartman. I mean, he's tried to kill me and Kyle more than once, even though we risked our lives pretty much all the time to help Cartman. I don't understand why we even hang out with him.

If we ignore him, he's going to think that he died and he's going to have to go to Butters to seek advice. It didn't work out too well _last_ time. We burned down a few buildings and killed some people the last time we ignored Cartman. Or was it the other way around...?

I'm not sure. And I don't care.

The only reason why I came along to go see Cartman was because Kyle was there, and I was afraid he'd get hurt or something. Tweek said that there were apparently snakes. I'm not really that scared of snakes. In fact, I used to play with snakes in the backyard until one bit me real bad and I ended up in the hospital for almost a week. The worst part about it was, I couldn't watch any television or read any books while I was in there. I've avoided snakes to prevent them from biting me, but they are still interesting.

Now, maybe this was all a joke and everything and Kyle wanted to piss me off for the fun of it. He's gay like that. I like him as a friend for all reasons _except_ for the fact that he's a major jackass when it comes to jokes. Sometimes he's even worse than Cartman.

Tweek and I were talking and running down the sloped sidewalk. We saw a blur of mixed colors up ahead by the mini-mart and they were running around. I could see Kyle on the sidewalk, fallen.

Well, it looked like he was on the ground from far away. Maybe he tripped or something.

SHIT!

"Kyle! Dude!"

Shouting, I ran faster and accidentally tripped Tweek. "Agh! Stan, what was that for?"

Oops. "Hey, sorry Tweek! I get you in a minute!"

I kept running, but somewhere in my mind I told myself to turn back and help him. For so to think, he's fallen and he can't get up_ (LifeAlert's not here to help)._ Plus, he's wounded and everything. I saw earlier that he was HORRIBLE, with bandages and scars and lots of healing creme and Vaseline. There's always that Vagisil stuff Cartman's been talking about the past few months...

Never mind that. I think it's best to help Kyle, if he needs help anyways. Besides, I want to see him. Kind of silly since I saw him only 10 minutes ago back at his house.

Never Mind again.

Oh wait, he didn't fall. He was still standing. It was his jacket and hat on the ground that made him look like that.

"Stan? Dude! It's about time you came!" Kyle shouted. I could see him just a short distance away. He didn't look too good.

Kyle's hat was on the ground, and his hair was ruffled with snakes in it and more snakes wrapped around his limbs. He looked like Medusa, only with a touch of jew. His face was pale, and again I don't know why. His skin was bruised as if he just came out from a fight, and his eyes were shut.

Crap, that's got to be uncomfortable. I know how much Kyle_ hates_ snakes. He's never seen a real one in real life before, just in books. But even the pictures of the long-bodied reptiles made Kyle want to scream- most of the time like a girl.

There was also Clyde and Butters on the side of the path. I'm not sure where the rest of the guys went. Maybe they ran away, or went to wait for the other guys to arrive at their location.

Then, there was Cartman. Do you know what he was doing? You're not gonna believe it...

"Cartman's throwing snakes! He's over there-**AHH**!"

Fuck. I guess a snake bit him or something.

"Kyle!"

I took off as fast as I could and ran over to him. Kyle started to lean to a side, then his left foot lifted off the ground. He was falling!

I slid on the cold ground and caught him before he crashed to the ground. He landed in my arms with a snake staring at my face. The one looking at me had piercing yellow eyes with emerald pupils, and it had scaly orange and blue skin. It was a pretty one, but that was the one that probably bit Kyle. Red liquid dripped from it's fangs.

_That wasn't good._

I tried not the look at it in the eye, but I did. It stared back at me, and it a spilt second it lurched it's head towards my neck and...

"Agh..."

I heard Clyde's voice before I fell numb. "Yo Stan, Kyle! Stop playing gay princess and help us out over here!"

There was a yell, then a thud noise, followed by Cartman's obnoxious laughter.

_That... That bastard!_

**Again, I warned you this was short.**

**The next chapter will hopefully be longer, I don't know. If I haven't mentioned this yet, I don't plan out ANY of my fanfics. I make them up as I go along. It's a shame that I don't plan it out, otherwise I think my stories would be so much better.**


	6. Damned garbage truck

**RANDY'S POV**

_Ugh..._ Such a long day I had today at work. My brain still hurts, even though I left my office about half an hour ago.

Today there were reported incidents of several fires and other weird stuff the news, it said everything was fake after I went and nearly killed myself trying to see if it affected my family. I'm not sure why all this had to happen today. I surely hope it doesn't happen again, because if it does, I quit.

Normally all I do at work is sit in a chair watching a stupid machine, calculating earthquakes and whatnot. They ran out of beers today, and I had to run to the store during break-time for some beers. Do you know how tiring that is? I can't believe I actually went to the store and bought something today. God, it was a long wait too. A bunch of old grannies saw a sign outside of the store saying there was a half price discount for sardines. There was a bunch of traffic at the intersection where the store is and everything else that would keep you waiting. Such a hassle!

Then I spent like, _20 bucks_ buying a stupid pack of beer. Me and my beers were being bored to death waiting in the car. Apparently it's illegal to drink alcohol while driving, so I couldn't touch a bottle even though I wanted to. What kind of idiot invented that law? Same thing to the people who banned weed and all the good stuff.

Even worse, the fridges were broken at work, so I set the beers out in a corner in the office and they started to get even more warm. Drinking warm beer is like drinking piss. Not that I've ever drunken any piss before, hell no.

I'm all angry and everything because I used all my hard-earned money on a pack of beer that's turned warm. Sharon won't allow me to store extra beer in the fridge at home because it supposedly takes up too much room. Come on! I only have about 5 packages of beer loaded in the fridge. It can hold a few more, no big deal.

Well, the last time I overflowed the fridge with beer, our house smelled like alcohol for a week. Stan and Shelly kept complaining about the smell. Seriously! The smell of beer is what I always smell like. They should be used to it by now. Besides, Stan's gonna become a drunk alcoholic when he grows up anyways so he better really get used to it. Plus, Shelly's already dating a college drop-out that's an alcoholic so she might as well get used to it too.

Speaking of Stan, where the hell was he? I thought he said he was going to be standing near the brick wall by the school's front. I drove there and I didn't see him. In fact, I didn't see anyone at all.

Huh. _Was it Saturday again?_

No, because on Saturday I apparently said that it wasn't going to rain, and it is raining. It's raining like I'm underneath a waterfall.

Haha. _Waterfall..._

Up ahead, I could see some people in the way of the street. Stupid teenagers.

I honked at them, and they threw a hockey puck at my windshield. "Ah! The hell?" The hockey puck probably dented my car, and left a big crack on my window. They laughed at me, and a long, blond haired guy or girl_ (I can't tell)_ came to retrieve the puck and flipped me off. They skated away.

My right arm shot up into my face while my left arm steered the wheel clear into the left lane, and I nearly hit into a tree. Dodging the tree, I steered even more to the left and found myself on another road on which I was driving the wrong way. Up ahead of the road I was driving, there were even more teenagers.

Man, when there's teenagers on almost every road you've been driving on today you think about killing a few. Or several.

Or all of them.

Quick note to self, if you're planning to kill teenagers then make sure you don't kill your own kids that are teenagers. Stan's a teenager that doesn't do all the bad stuff most teens do like sex and drugs (although he's missing out the fun) but every once in a while he'll be in a situation where the top two words to describe the problem are "_gay_" and "_what-the-fuck_". I remember the time where he went with a gang of cross-eyed hippies into the ocean and tried to kill the Japanese with whales.

Or maybe it was the other way around.

Agh, I can't think with the damned rain messing up my thoughts. Rain damage.

Bahaha! Only my closest co-worker laughed at that joke. See, because rain sounds like "brain" it would be brain damage. Eh? Get it?

Yeah, I'll shut up now.

All of a sudden, I drove over an enormous speed bump that came out of nowhere, and it messed up one of my tires. Gazing in the rear view mirror, I looked at my face for a moment and grinned, then tried to see which tire got screwed up.

It was the back left tire. And I just replaced that one a few days ago!

Putting my brake to the maximum, I stopped the car almost instantly as I saw the teenagers that were up ahead. One was an idiot hurling large pieces of rope and playing some sick game, I think. He was dropping the slivers of rope on his friends. I almost rolled over one of those kids.

Behind me, there was a garbage truck that had a driver who was texting and smoking, and looked like he was brushing his teeth at the same time too. What the heck was wrong with drivers these days?

I tried to signal him to drive into the next lane, but he just continued looming towards me and my car.

I panicked.

The garbage truck was just a few meters away from hitting my car. I honked the car horn as much as I could, but the stupid driver kept accelerating. Behind me, the front part of the garbage truck read, "**Warning! Stay clear of truck path**".

Oh, you mean that I should stay clear? I'm safely parked to the side and he's going to crash into me!

Well, if he wasn't going to move I guess I was.

My right hand shot for the ignition key, then I put the car in reverse. Then I turned the damned wheel to the right. All I needed was to hit the gas pedal.

I tried to move my foot that was on the brake, but it was stuck! I looked down at it to figure out what was wrong, and to my dismay it was a blob of green mint chewing gum lodged in the space between my right shoe and the brake pedal.

What am I gonna do? My left foot won't move because it's gone numb, and I really really really really really didn't feel like bending down and untying my shoe to get my foot free. I could also just hit the gas pedal with my hand, but it was dirty. Both my gloves and the pedal with the smell of dried dog crap.

I tried a crazy idea that I remembered from a movie.

"Hey kid! Can I get a hand over here?" I shouted out the window at the teenager with the ropes. He looked at me, and then kicked the a kid on the ground. I couldn't make out what he said to the teenager on the ground because of the rain, but the kid on the ground yelled something that was slightly understandable.

"Dad!" The kid on the ground screamed, and the guy with the ropes ran away.

Why did he say "dad"? I'm not his dad, am I?

Squinting, I saw it was Stan. "Oh, hi Stanl-"

**-CRASH!**

The damned garbage truck rammed into my car. A sickening noise of a mix of metal and screeches rose from behind me. The beer cans I was storing in the trunk of my car must've busted open, because there was beer splashing on the back of my head and into my ear. It droned out the noises.

Even more panicked, I pushed down on a pedal, trying to get the hell out of the way before it killed me. Wrong pedal.

I don't think I mentioned this yet, but I replaced my car brakes just a week ago. They work perfectly now, and in this situation, I wished I never got them replaced. Ever.

My right foot was still stuck on the brake pedal, and I pressed down really hard on it, thinking it was the gas. The gas was just a few inches away from my foot, and I pressed on the wrong one. And when I pressed brakes, it really was _BRAKES._

The car didn't move. The garbage truck did though.

I didn't move. I don't plan to move either, because the damned truck had the front fender jabbing into my back. I felt a rush of anxiety and foolishness mixed in. My back went numb, and I think my spine just broke.

The driver finally looked up and gasped. "Oh, no."

Pretending he never saw anything, he backed up a little bit and drove away as fast as he could into the next lane.

Stan crawled onto the hood of my car, and looked at me. I could see his arms shaking with his hands stuck to the glass on the windshield. His eyes shone a dark blue. "Dad! No! Don't die!"

And... the world turned black. All because I stepped on the brakes too hard. I had also them fixed a week earlier.

Well, I now I know they work pretty damn well.

**The next chapter will be a spoiler! Please do not read chapter 7 until you've read the past ones!**


	7. Three down

_So, here I wait._

_First Craig, then Kenny, and Mister Marsh._

_Who's going to be next, I wonder?_

_Surely it won't be long before someone else befalls us._


	8. Selah's Wacky Stack for Stories

**Clyde's POV**

Whoa.

I don't think his body should be bending that way...?

His face is an awfully weird shade of white, too.

Noticing what was coiled around Stan's neck, I saw that it was probably choking him. He had a really realistic scarf wrapped around him that actually looked like a snake.

"Hey, Stan! We know you're not_ REALLY_ being choked by a snake, so stop acting like you're being bitten. Kyle's actually down! There's also a snake over here, and I think this one's real! Take off that gay scarf of yours, dude!" I yelled at Stan.

There was a green and black snake with bright yellow eyes and darkened teeth slithering towards me. It looked like it was smiling.

"Oh, hi little fella. Where are you supposed to be doing here?"

It gave me a deadly stare, and it's dark red pupils turned into slits. I don't think this one is very friendly.

My foot wanted to kick it, but I knew it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. I got up slowly and tried running away.

I tripped on a speed bump, but kept running until the green snake was out of my sight.

Slowing down, I pulled a candy bar from my pocket and started opening the noisy cellophane wrapper. I always eat something sugary after I run a long distance. It's like an alternative for me, like water would be to a sweaty athlete.

Only, I'm not a sweaty athlete, but rather a fat dude that only ran a distance less than the distance a sea turtle would accomplish on land in half an hour. I'm the next-to-slowest runner in my class. The slowest runner in the 6th grade is Jimmy, obviously.

Funny thing is, Timmy is faster than me.

After consuming my candy bar, I walked at a steady pace until I reached a store, where I could call my parents to come pick me up.

Before coming to Kyle's house, I lied that I would be at the store all afternoon. My parents were the kind that were always home, and they depended on me to do the shopping. Plus, they didn't have a clue when I was supposed to get out of school, so I told them I'd call after I left school.

Pah. I left school hours ago. I just spent a little time at Kyle's, then at the place where it was infested with snakes and a particular red fat-ass.

I wasn't referring to me.

Inside the mini-mart, I saw a few people walking around. A fat, chubby person with a thick white mustache stood at the counter. He probably wouldn't suspect me being suspicious or anything.

Normally I'm scared of people with mustaches, since when they speak, it's hard to hear them and I can't see what they're saying.

Trying not to look at the counter keeper in the eye, I made my walk over to where the pay-phone was. An isle of new comic books caught my eye, and I was distracted into the comics isle for a few minutes.

There was also a newspaper isle with the _"latest_" news on the isle accross. I walked into there to read about what was happening "lately".

One issue interested me. On the front page it said, "Got an interesting story or event to tell us about? Call us with the number below! First ten people to be interviewed will win 50 bucks!".

I pondered for a moment. "50 bucks... That's enough to buy me all of this week's newest comic books..."

An event, eh? Well, there were snakes over by the cemetery outside gate earlier. I could make up a story about a snake infestation in South Park. My mother always told me that I was good at making stories (and leaving the toilet seat up), so I guess I could get away with making up a huge lie just to win some money for comic books.

It seemed crazy enough to work.

Holding the newspaper with the advertisement and the number to call, I brought it with me to the pay phone and dialed the number in bold on the paper. I took a deep breath as the dial tone rung.

"Selah's Wacky Stack For Stories, how may we help ya today?"

God, whoever was speaking was really whacked up. "Uh, yeah, I saw you guy's advertisement for the event thing and 50 bucks and all that, right?"

"Yes sir! This is the place! You're the 4th person to call us for the advertisement. You know, an person from earlier said something about people _dying_ because of the number 4 being unlucky. Heh, sorry for the random thought. What's your story?"

I rolled my eyes. This was embarrassing, since the phone line made the guy's voice really loud, and I bet everyone in the store could hear me talking to this idiot. Clearing my throat, I streamed a giant list of different lies I could sew together to make a great story that would win me 50 bucks in my head. "Have you heard of the snakes that have been sighted around South Park?", I began.

On the other end, I heard a few murmering voices and the big guy said, "No, we haven't. Please, go on!" He laughed weakly as the sound of typing keys rattled in his background.

Creepy. "OK, there's this giant area where they're keeping all these poisonous snakes, and there's someone that's behind it. I know who, but I won't tell anyone because if I do, the person who's up to this drastic deed will release all the snakes and will kill everyone in Colorado."

A series of gasps rose from the other end. "You're kidding me!"

I think I got them tricked enough, so I guess I'll close the story with something exciting."

"Naw, man. I just went to the local park here in South Park and I saw children being abducted by pythons and rattlesnakes. The guy who was up to the snake thingy was there, I saw him." I covered the mouth part of the phone, and laughed to myself.

"Oh... God." The people on the other end were really going to believe this. I'm good.

"B-before you can get the 50 dollars, could you tell us your name and home address?"

Yes! I got them. "Donovan. Clyde Donovan." I also gave them my address, then said, "So, anything else?"

Selah coughed and said in a strict voice, "Could you describe the guy that's controlling all of this?"

Describe... Who to describe? Ah, how about Cartman?"

"Yeah. He's a guy that wears a red jacket, and he's got short brown hair. He's also a guy that attends South Park Elementary school." Anything else to include...? Oh, yeah! "And he's pretty fat too. Oh, and his name starts with the letter C. That's all I can tell you."

They were quiet. "What about this person's grade in school? What grade is he in?"

"Sixth. You're welcome. Can I get the cash now?"

"Yeah, kid. The cash'll arrive in mail in a couple of hours. Thanks for calling us." Selah hung up almost immediately after he said that.

Jesus. Is it really that easy to win 50 dollars just to make up a fake story and tell someone about it? I should do this _soooo much more often._

Smiling, I was about to walk out of the store and back home when I stopped and slapped myself square in the face.

_Walk? _

_Home?_ You're kidding.

I could never walk home from such a long distance. Well, it's only a quarter of a mile away until I get home by walking. My friends told me it's no big deal but I would die before I would be able to get home.

Since when did I ever decide to walk home... Haha.

I'll just go back into the store and I'll call my parents. Let's see, I think I have a little change left in my pocket.

Stepping back into the door, I made my way to the pay phone once more, digging around wildly in my pockets.

A paperclip, that empty candy bar wrapper, and pebbles were all that were in my jean pockets.

Man, what am I gonna do? I spent all my other change paying the that other phone call to Selah, and I don't have any money left.

I could try to steal some money. Stealing always works.

_Always._

Looking around, I tried to find some targets. I walking down the isle pretending to look for the restrooms, and spotted another teenager like me snooping around. No, I wouldn't target someone young. How about someone... older?

I walked around a little more until I spotted someone else - a person who looked like they were in their 40s or 50s. It was a man that had a thick, heavy green coat on with a uni brow. No, too scary. I'd really get in trouble if I was caught stealing from a man like him.

Then, I saw the perfect victim.

It was an old lady with an old cane to match her, and she didn't have glasses on. A perfect advantage! If she can't see me, she won't know I'm stealing from her!

Bwahahaha, she even has her hair down long so it'll be even harder for her to see!

I looked around once more to make sure nobody was watching me.

Nope. No one.

I crept up behind really close to the old granny. She had a pink plastic handbag that was full of peppermints and cheap perfume bottles. Surely there was some sort of money or change in that bag of hers.

She was standing near a stand where there were scented paperweights on sale. She sniffed each and every one of those stupid rocks- even the ones that smelled the same!

Idiot.

Carefully I reached for her bag, and tried to pull something out.

"Hey! Stop right there!" Someone yelled out.

The old granny turned around, and I ducked. I ran with the wad of junk in my hand, and jumped into the nearest isle.

Peering out, I looked as the shop owner walked into my direction. I backed away.

He kept walking, then...

Turned?

The bushy-mustached man poked the old granny's shoulders, then talked to her, and pointed his thumb behind his shoulder, pointing to me.

I backed up even more, and tried to locate the exit.

Running, I stuffed the wad I had in my hands into my jacket pockets and fled as fast as I could out the door, knocking over a shelf of snake magazines.

I turned the corner, and looked back. The shop owner was yelling at...

The old lady?

"Seriously, you aren't supposed to bring cats into the store! There are people who are allergic, especially my boss. Don't come back until you promise not to bring any more kittens into this store. Can't you read the sign?" The angry shopkeeper pointed to a sign on the door, and pointed to his eyes. "And don't even think about coming back if you're not going to wear your glasses. It's bad enough there's people like you driving around and killing people..."

Looking inside my shirt (no homo)I realized I might have stuffed cat fur into my clothing. My parents are allergic to cats too, but I'm not. Pulling out everything that was in my shirt (still no homo), I found a wad of brown cat fur mixed in with...

800 dollars? _Holy crap!_

I dropped my jaw in awe. 800 dollars is a lot of money. I could buy a new game console or something cool like that. Why would an old lady like her have...

Oh my God. This is so much... My hands are trembling as I hold this. I hope the old lady doesn't notice.

I was aiming for just a dollar or something or maybe a little change to steal but... 800 dollars.

Kenny would explode if he had this much.

Hell, forget calling my parents. I'm so happy I could walk halfway accross the world, even if it would kill me.

Maybe with this money I could get a new bike or something. I dunno.

**I always thought Clyde was pretty cool, but I didn't think a whole chapter would be based on him.**

**He's pretty lucky to find that amount of money, eh?**


	9. I'm feeling super, thanks for asking

**I haven't updated this story for so long, I don't even know what it's about anymore.**

Mr. Garrison had gone home for the day to retire, and on the way crossed a train track and an empty alley. There weren't very people walking around on the streets. He felt like he was the only one on the block.

A few seconds later he heard a voice screaming for help. It sounded like a man from a foreign country, or someone who didn't speak English well.

_Fuck those damn foreigners_, he thought. He kept moving along, minding his own business.

All of a sudden he heard another voice scream for help. It was the voice of a young lady, also with a strange-sounding accent. Mr. Garrison dropped all his papers and books he was carrying and ran to the voice of the woman calling for help.

Foreigner or not, she's still a woman in distress. I have to help her.

He turned the corner, and the voice gradually got louder.

Then he faced the person who was calling for help.

"Oh my lord, you're not a woman!"

Instead of a young woman, he saw a rough looking man as hairy as a monkey, and he had slime all over his clothing. His hair was sticking up in various places, and he had a very bushy beard.

Mr. Garrison turned up his nose in disgust and kicked the person in the chest.

"Owwwowww..." Moaned the mysterious man. He rubbed the spot where Mr. Garrison kicked him. A bottle fell from his shirt and shattered on the ground.

It soaked into the dirt and vanished immediately.

"Oh... Oh no...!" The man looked at Mr. Garrison in terror.

Mr. Garrison snorted. "What, some drugs you were going to sell? It would've been better if I kicked you earlier." He kicked him again. "Got any more?"

And yes, apparently he did have more. 2 more bottles fell from his shirt, and they also broke. They mixed together and turned a shade of sickening green, then sank into the dirt.

"What you done? You kill all people now!" The man roared with his womanly accent.

"Huh?" Mr. Garrison was confused.

All of a sudden the ground started to shake, and the men stared at each other, waiting for another to say something.

Without hesitating, the man turned and ran.

The ground kept shaking, and a crack opened up from the dirt. A bony, frail hand rose up.

"Zombies?" Mr. Garrison stammered. No, it couldn't be!

"Nein! Tis ze fuhrer!" Another thick accented voice filled the air.

In no time at all, the hand from the ground crawled out and there stood a man who looked a LOT like Hitler.

Hmm. I think he is Hitler. He's got a Hitler-stache... More Nazi symbols than Cartman had in his room... Smells like old gunpowder...

Yup, that's Hitler.

Oh, how lovely. He came back as a zombie. Must've been from those bottles that man spilled.

A chant rose from the ground. "Heil! Heil! Heil!"

Then, one by one, an army of zombie Nazis crawled out from the hole in the ground, and took Mr. Garison in their hands.

"Hey, you sick bastards! Let me go!"

A fat Nazi approached, and then snapped Mr. Garrison's head, then ripped it off. Blood splattered everywhere, and guts dripped from his detached head.

The army of zombie Nazis cheered, and kept marching.

Soon the whole neighborhood had zombies marching around, house to house, ripping people's heads off and moving on to the next victim.

People screamed in terror. They ran house to house, but each home had a Nazi waiting for them outside and inside the doors.

One person thought that throwing a flamethrower to burn the zombies would work, but it didn't. It just made them stronger.

Soon the fire spread to a nearby nuclear power plant.

You know what happens then.

Boom. 'splosions.

**THE END.**

**I've decided to just end this story right here. It's not very popular, so I say, "FUCK IT. I'M GONNA START ANOTHER FANFIC."**

**So I chopped off the rest of the story and replaced it with this.**  
><strong>It's been nearly 2 years and less than 200 people have read it. I don't think this is worth continuing.<strong>

**Hope you had fun reading. If you REALLY REALLY REALLY want me to continue, leave behind some fucking reviews. That's what motivates me.**


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